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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be scared into not taking action

1 reply

mimi1962 · 15/11/2024 17:16

I dated a man for about 6 weeks, just a couple of times a week, he bought lots of presents, despite being told to stop. He wanted to get married, chose the reception venue and wanted to get me a ring.

It was overpowering, not reciprocated and I was very clear on that. There was no misleading happening. I stopped seeing him as the behaviour was worrying me and now he will not leave me alone.

I'm an older lady so no children involved thank goodness.

It started as daily texts, he was told to stop. But he won't. I've had many bizarre texts and cards, Had flowers which I gave away. There's more detail which I can't put here but a local DV charity and the police have assessed me as at high risk.

I have installed security cameras now.

The police will arrest if I give the go ahead, but I'm scared it will trigger worse behaviour. The police are massively supportive.

I can go for a Mon molestion order with a DV support agency as it's harassment. Seems like a softer but less confrontational way forward. Am I a coward?

They all advise do not block him as it can escalate things. My instinct is to block but all professionals/police say dont, they also say don't respond and I haven't for a couple of months.

I need advice, experiences, opinions, do I take action or allow myself to be scared into doing nothing to stop him for fear of provoking an escalation?

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 15/11/2024 17:23

How horrible. You're not a coward at all.

What do you want to do? If you want to go down the arrest route, is there anyone you could stay with while it happened?

Maybe get a second phone so that you don't have to constantly look at it all, even if you can't block him.

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