Not sure what to say this evening

[ToffeePennie]

I have an old friend who I drifted away from once I got married and became a mother.
Last time I saw her (during her pregnancy) she totally blanked me and my husband, despite being close to my family.
I have an event to attend this evening that I was asked to attend at the start of this year. I was under the impression that it involved me and four of my close family members. However, she has apparently been invited, and so far I have had nothing to do with her.
I was invited to the baby shower but sadly had previous commitments and sent a gift that apparently was dismissed, so I haven’t seen her or her baby.
The whole situation feels awkward and I’m not sure how to handle this evening, I can almost guarantee she will ask about why I haven’t been to visit and I know if I tell her the truth I will be the “bad guy” in the eyes of family.

If she asks you flip it back and ask why she hasn't been to visit you either?
If she says she's been busy ect.,. Just say yeah same.

This was about this time last year. Since then I haven’t spoken to her. I have two children and a husband who has been going through a diagnosis for something serious.
She ignored all messages sent to her previously.

Why would you initiate contact if she blanked you?

Just be polite and non committal

No. That was a family member on the other side of the family.

Just walk in and say lovely to see you, how are you and the baby? It's been a while hasn't it I don't know where the time goes these days, we're all so busy, we must catch up, all with a big smile (and a hug if that's what you do). Then leave it to her to respond. If she's churlish that reflects on her.

Don't overthink it. Just make small talk as if you are talking to your friend's next door neighbour that you only met once before.

You cannot possibly predict what will happen, wait and see and you will know what's right.
Watch her body language, it gives alot away....
No one on here can answer.

^ this. It’s only been a year, it’s not like it’s been 10 years. Everyone is busy these days, really it’s a non issue.

Ignore this poster OP. They name change daily but follow the same tedious pattern on every thread, posting multiple times in quick succession and bringing up the OPs previous threads to try and make the situation worse.

Oh I am ignoring this person.
I haven’t posted in (I think at least) a year. In that time I’ve been working hard on myself.

Breeze in and treat her like any other old friend you haven’t seen in ages.

“Anne, how lovely to see you. How is motherhood treating you? You must show me some photos of baby. Six months already…doesn’t time fly. They’re adorable at that age aren’t they. Blah blah blah”.

I wouldn’t acknowledge any fractiousness in the relationship unless she does first. If she does try to start anything…”Why don’t we catch up over a coffee and we can talk privately? I’m sorry you’re upset. That would never have been my intention”.

Brilliant! I am saving this for all my foreigner friends who do not understand British “fakeness” and wonder why people are polite, smile, say we should catch up and then never call or ghost when invited. They don’t get this is actually socially acceptable or actually the way to really behave (it is not in other cultures so baffles a lot of foreigners!)

You need to take control of the situation. When you see her go over and say 'hi X it's nice to see you, hasn't it been ages? How are you?"

Then if she responds awkwardly or rudely that's on her. If she is rude to you or blanks you. Just say to family members "that's strange I just asked X how she is ad she ignored me/said xyz." Get your side across so it can't be twisted.