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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SunQueen24 · 15/11/2024 17:25

People just twist it back onto the victim too. People really struggle with the notion that it’s an abuse of position and want to examine the circumstances to find a way the victim is at fault.

When my DM found out I had been groomed. She screamed and shouted asking did “i have sex with him” not if I’d been raped. I said no, because I was scared. When I later came forward, the police were utterly despondent. Presumably because it’s so hard to secure a conviction it’s just another case they have to go through the motions with taking time and energy when the prospects it even making the threshold for the CPS are so low. Mine only succeeded as he’d had previous for the same sort of offences. My Mum, now humiliated and again screaming re did I have sex with him told me strictly not to tell anyone as they’d assume it was a family member and wouldn’t that be shameful for us all.

Many years later my MIL was talking about a teacher she worked with who’d been prosecuted for CSA against pupils and said it “took two tango” DH got upset and told them I had been a victim and to watch what she was saying. Oh she said, why did her parents allow it. Those were teachers!

The court process is a punishment in itself!

Thatsenoughcoffee · 15/11/2024 17:45

Have any of you watched the three part BBC documentary about the Snapchat catfisher?

It’s the worst case you can imagine and he was an absolute psychopath. He was found with 230,000 images, which had been newly created through his abuse. Using Snapchat and Instagram he contacted, duped, terrified and abused 350 children all over the world and been in touch with 3500.

One poor girl actually killed herself while being abused by him online, and then the girl’s father killed himself in grief a few months later.

He got 20 years in prison but it should have been a whole life term!

It does sound like he was a lone wolf and did not share the images he took, so they are not in circulation forever. Perhaps that affected the sentencing.

There was another recent case of a young man who made 3D computer graphics images of grotesque abuse and sold it to other men, who gave him requests including photos of family members to make deepfakes.

That man got 30 years which of course he deserves, but the catfisher just seems worse. The catfisher should be extradited to the US where many of his victims lived.

InfoSecInTheCity · 15/11/2024 18:12

I really wish I was a more evolved person but honestly my instant gut reaction is that these perverts should be branded on the forehead and released out into the world. Let's see how well they do when every single person who sees them knows that what they've done.

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