Happiest times of your life

[MoMhathair]

I'm in a good mood and feeling nostalgic. I'd love to hear about the happiest times in people's lives - times they look back on and feel all warm and fuzzy about.

I know this isn't an AIBU. Sue me.

There are quite a few times for me, but ones that stand out are:
Uni - I met my DH, had a blast, really enjoyed the courses, had a part time job I enjoyed, felt fit and healthy. A really fun, exciting time in my life.

When my DS was born. I got into a habit of taking prenatal vitamins and the midwife commented after the birth that I had fantastic iron reserves (I'm normally anaemic on and off, lack of periods definitely helped) so despite having a baby I felt strong as an ox, full of life, my baby was beyond gorgeous. It was scary having a newborn but I remember walking down the street pushing the pram and thinking how lovely my life was. My friend and I used to take our babies to the cinema, the shopping centre, cafes, it was a life of luxury really (in spite of poopy nappies and 1000 wakeups a night). I'd always wanted to be a mum and it was far better than I expected, which is a nice surprise.

What were your happiest times?

Newly wed days. We hadn’t previously cohabited so it was all new and wonderful. It’s still wonderful if after 34 years no longer new.

Now. Retired, with no caring responsibilities, healthy and mobile.

I'm in a happy place right now. Which considering I have depression often chronic health issues is good.

I'm hanging on to this current feeling. DH is alot older and has started having issues with his memory and overall frailty. My parents live a very long way away and both have cancer. My oldest DS has severe learning difficulties and my younger is hitting teen years hard. The future is uncertain and I need to work out how to meet all of my obligations- particularly if DH deteriorates and my parents deteriorate.

But for now, we are good. So I am holding that close.

Now.

I have my gorgeous DS, who has complex needs and is thriving in a special school. I have a partner I adore and who adores us. We have a roof over our heads that we can afford and money isn’t an issue. I have a cat who loves nothing more than being held like a baby for cuddles. I have a job that whilst I don’t enjoy it, it doesn’t stress me out and pays well and gives me all the flexibility I need to be with my son. It’s also very very secure!

We’d love to move out of our flat and into a home with a garden, but if that never happens, it’s really fine. I’ve got everything I need here and I am so bloody lucky to have it.

Engaged/newly wed - felt and looked the best I ever had and life was so exciting and fun.
When my babies were young - loved newborn/baby stage, found it very easy and fulfilling, loved the snuggles. Loved mat leave.

Without a shadow of a doubt, the five years or so when the three DC were out the baby years and all in the toddler/preschool/early primary years. Honestly those days were bathed in a golden light and I felt such deep contentment.

Fast forward another five years or so and one of the DC has a life changing MH condition which has changed family life beyond recognition. I try to remain hopeful and things could without doubt be much, much worse, but if I let myself dwell on the contrast between our lives then compared to now it is unbearably painful. I'm pretty good at focusing on the small pleasures in life but deep down I feel that true happiness has gone for good.

2012-2019 was an amazing run for me 😍
2012 - got married and good professional things
2013 - bought flat
2014 - got pregnant
2015 - had baby and moved house
2016 - just chilling out, spending time with delicious baby, lovely
2017 - another baby
2018 - 2019 - see 2016 but now with 2 kids

It was always sunny and peaceful and bright, had the loveliest calmest time, so happy and joyful. Loads of energy to make fun activities for the kids, freedom as not restricted by the school day. DH working away a lot though whereas now he’s home all the time so should be easier now but doesn’t feel it!

Since 2019 nothing bad has particularly happened but everything seems so heavy now. Obviously shit show of 2020, but other than that we’ve moved, done a build, had another baby, I’m back at work in a job I feel NO anxiety about which is a revelation. All good things. Exciting, nice things. But things feel hard. Things definitely felt hard around 2017-2019 so maybe I’ll look back on these times with rose tinted glasses too!

That sounds so tough @thesunisastar. It sounds like you're doing a fantastic job but it is so hard to worry about kids' health. I hope things get easier for you.

The rose tinted glasses are real - I definitely had moments when DS was little where I felt exhausted, pissed off, frustrated, the whole shebang. I think what makes it seem lovely in hindsight was a sense that what I was doing was worthwhile - hard as it was, it all contributed to the development of my gorgeous son, who is now a giant teenager.

2008 I did an art foundation course as a mature student. I was in London which had so much going on, met a great bunch of people, was creative and got involved in some amazing projects. Won a place at a top art school and felt recognised, supported and had a lot of fun.

Sweeping academic success.

The night DH proposed to me.

Giving births

Totally relate to luxury life during maternity -and not being able to get over these most gorgeous things in the world are mine. I was so peak productivity.

Even though life has been ok, I've been slow to find joy in things in the last 5 years or so, something has numbed. Right now there's distressing mental health crisis with my teenager DC1, lots of soul crushing moments, going to bed with stomach churning, and I've been humbled by how much my and DH's family have rallied around and it makes me feel really lucky to have them.

Academic year 2006-07. I was studying abroad in my favourite country in the world with some truly amazing people. One of my friends told me another school friend had said to them "She's living her dream isn't she" and I really was.

I loved my uni years. I am settled with my partner who I love and adore, and I enjoy my job, have a fabulous home that we own. Life is great now, however, when I was at uni it was so carefree and no worries of everyday challenges (mortgage rates, relationships, bitchy collagues / diffucult clients etc).

That is literally my dream @herempem . When yuu say you were a mature student, just how mature are we talking, if you don't mind me asking?! What prompted you to do it?

In my 20s, went travelling, came back, walked into a great job with a company car, moved into an amazing shared house.

Everything was just amazing in the early 2000s. Wish I could go back

Oh and late 2012-13. I finally left my ex who was a waste of space, moved to London, had a job I really enjoyed, for the first time in my life was earning enough to have no financial worries, met my now husband, went out several nights a week, took day trips, which my ex would never do.

Every decade so far has been extremely happy and incredibly different. I’ll always be grateful for that.

I'm very sorry to hear that you also have a teen with MH struggles @MrsAlgernon . I can very much relate to that numb feeling and the endless worry.

Second year of FE college, first year had been a bit tough with the move from school being a big jump in independence and my course (art) was sequestered away from the main campus in a smaller building. Second year we moved to the main campus where I had access to more friends-of-friends and felt less isolated. For the first time ever (I was never popular at school) I could wander around and run into people who I liked and who were fun to spend time with because they liked me. I had a part time job, I was applying to uni and I was getting a taste of what it might like to be an independent adult and I just felt really positive and happy about life in general and hopeful about the future.

The time when each of my children were newborns. It felt like the whole world stopped and all that mattered was me and the baby and that was wonderful.

DS1 being about 2-3 years old - I had left an abusive relationship and again was finding new freedom in the world, I had this lovely group of friends where we were in and out of each others' houses all the time, I was doing a uni course having not actually managed to go the first time around, I had a new partner (later to become DH) who was actually supportive.

Also some parts around the early years of having moved abroad - I was really lucky to find a supportive friendship group early on and again it was very close knit, people going to each others' houses. That has all waned since the pandemic and it is lonelier now. I am hoping once I finally get DS2 settled in some kind of childcare that I will get to another place where I can work towards something for the future and build up relationships again.

Living in Ibiza from 99-2001 - so much fun nothing else will match it

Graduating age 41 after leaving school at 14

I loved my school and uni days but nothing compares to my year of Mat leave with my first born. Absolutely the best days of my life.

Hitting around 32-33 i somehow gave no more fucks to what anyone was thinking.
Life has been great from then on.

I met the love of my life at 42.

We were both fresh out of toxic marriages and because the received wisdom is not to jump into new things, we said we were our rebounds. Well it lasted 11 years.

The first five years were magical in so many ways.

Then his mother got dementia, mine got terminal cancer, and nearly three years ago he died unexpectedly.

I look back on those first years and feel that the Universe had to balance things up because it was too good. Which I know is ridiculous. I wish I could summon up some hope for the future, but the punches have kept coming relentlessly over the last three years, and it's bloody hard.

Hugs to all appreciating their pasts, struggling with the present and dreading the future. I've got hope in a stranglehold......

When I was about 14-16, having so much fun with friends - risky behaviour and not what I want for my children as I grew up too fast but this time was great fun. I met my now DH at 17 and moved in with him, so it was very grown up and financially hard sooner than it needed to be.

My DD was born when I was 27 and my DS at 30 and especially those baby days with my first were just magical. She was so easy and delightful. DS was harder work but once sleepless nights were done I've never been happier with my children, they are the light of my life. 10 and 13 now and I am so pleased I've been there with them every step of the way and enjoyed almost every stage. Having children made me braver, stronger and certainly happier.

16/17 - two best mates, going on holiday, meeting lads, getting drunk.

28-35- being single after a crappy relationship, doing weekends away. Enjoying my children. Meeting some one new and falling deeply in love.

When I was single and living alone.
Married for 20 years with virtually no problems, no kids, no financial worries etc., but being single was still the best.
At 24, I didn't realise that being a happy loner in my own environment was alright.