Why would child support be an issue?

[lindaandrews]

Why exactly is child support such an issue for divorced couples where one doesn’t want to pay? Why don’t they just renounce their rights to the child so they don’t have to pay?

Why should a parent - a role you take on for life, be able to sign away their responsibilities?

Does it actually work that way though?

AFAIK you can't just "renounce your rights" as a parent. Anyway. Parents have responsibilities not rights.
And why should a man (its usually the man) just decide he doesn't want to look after, practically or financially, a child that he previously wanted?

I dont think one party can just unilaterally renounce their rights, at least not in the UK. If you have a child then you are obligated to support and raise it. I believe CMS falls woefully and cruelly short of what is required to raise a child and needs relooked at.

I think the problem is the paying party is often resentful of the other person and dislikes paying and maybe feels the other party is better off or using the money for personal things not the children. The other person may feel it doesn't come close to covering half of true costs and is also resentful.

Its possible to put personal feelings to the side and focus only on the children but its rare.

Is that an American thing? I don’t think you have rights as a parent in England in the same way. It’s parental responsibility isn’t it?

please someone correct me if I’m wrong!

Because children don’t ask to be born and they cost money. So the people who made them have to pay for them.

I mean it’s not that hard to work out.

If you could do that some / lots of men would be having unprotected sex left, right and centre. The state would then have to pick up the tab as surprisingly raising a child isn't free and we would all be in a much worse state

What would happen if both parents decided to renounce their rights because neither could afford to raise the kids alone? No one should be able to. If you bring a child into this world then you need to be responsible for them, not just back out when you want even though it does happen now.

What a stupid post and a stupid question

You can't renounce your rights in the UK. Even if both parents agree

Why should somebody be able to renounce their responsibilities to a child they created?

Eh?

It's an issue because not all adults want to do the right thing for their children, and not all are nice, decent people!

My father wanted nothing to do with me or my siblings and paid nothing when he and my mother (who he'd beaten and abused for years) split up (when I was 4). After a few years of complete absence he decided he wanted full custody (probably just as a way to further control and abuse) and a 7 year custody battle ensued. When he lost the custody battle and a restraining order was implemented, he again paid zero financial contribution.

Not all men (or women) are nice, loving parents that want the best for their children and have an amicable and respectful relationship with their partner. Sadly.

Is this for an essay? You seem to be asking other random questions today.

🥤 🍿

Like that doesn’t happen anyway.

Well, my ex went off and didn't pay a penny for his five kids for YEARS. In fact, he only got caught by the CMS when the youngest was 16, he had to pay back the amount owing but as he retired a couple of years in, he could stop paying then and hardly paid anything.

So men can and do refuse to pay. And it leaves the (usually) mum trying to support the kids on one income and no extra money, which is brutal.

Because we (the children) are not inanimate assets, or liabilities on the table in a negotiation two adults are having.

The long term consequences of physical, emotional, financial abandonment often outlive the parent(s) involved. Parental “happiness” being the priority over children’s needs has already been normalised at the expense of millions of children.

Another extension of “parent first” policies will liberate some parents from one of the “buckets of pain” that come with a lack of desire behave responsibly when it comes to their children’s welfare.

At the current moment unwanted* children’s arms are already burdened heavily with all the other buckets of pain their parents’ would rather smaller arms carry.

So, that’s why. Adult arms make the buckets of pain, so they should at least try to carry the very last one society expects of them.

*at conception or at a later point when parenthood is not desirable anymore

I use child support as an object lesson in responsibly my exes actual amount he needs to pay is about fifty quid a fortnight he is just about to lose two hundred a fortnight because he keeps refusing to pay if he quits his job they will find him at his next job etc etc

He should have paid the fifty quid

Such interesting threads from Linda the student today.

just because they don’t want to pay doesn’t mean they don’t want to see the children? my ex claims to want to see the kids though doesn’t bother but still doesn’t think he should be paying £7 a week for them and does whatever he can to avoid paying it

Like they do now ?

Because when you create a child you have responsibilities, not just rights.

Well yes but there are plenty of men who do pay child support currently who aren't such dirtbags they refuse altogether, but if not paying was normalised and accepted they would. Then that £200 a month I normally get from DDs dad would, if I wasn't on a good wage, end up being a gap filled partially / probably by the state.

Not to mention the psychological impact of more children not having fathers in their lives at all.

We are in Germany but I would assume it's similar in the UK.
Ex doesn't want to pay child support at the moment. He needs his money to fund his new lifestyle as a happy bachelor and believes the amount I'm asking him for is extortionate. (I went with the amount based on his income and have even offered to accept less in an effort to get him to pay anything at all. There are clear guidelines here as to how much he should pay and it's actually against the law for me not to request child support as a parent, on behalf of the DC. He still refuses child support and will only pay half of the mortgage to retain his percentage of the equity. He hasn't actually paid that for the past two months, either, though. I'm working on it...)
Child support and visitation or parental responsibility are not linked, here. So even if I got full custody of the DC (which is hard to obtain), he'd still be liable for child support. He's also still allowed to see the DC, even if he doesn't pay child support. That's because it's the DC's right to see their dad and has nothing to do with him being an arsehole financially. A lot is based on the children's rights to have and see both parents. Unlike in the UK, though, child support is not linked to the number of nights spent at his house (unless we went for 50:50, which is what he wants because he thinks then he doesn't need to pay...but would work out much more expensive for him). It's also not based on my income. Child support is exactly that...it's money for the children.

Seconded !