So my DD (4) and DS (3) had this fantastic babysitter who used to watch them while I worked. The babysitter also watched her daughter's sons alongside my children.
One day I took my children to a play centre. DS was sat playing with a toy, and the babysitter's daughter was there with her kids. I was tending to DD, as she had fallen over and was upset. I think the daughter hadn't seen me and didn't realise I could see DS from where I was. Whilst I was occupied, I saw the daughter go over to DS and grab his little hand with both her big hands, trying to force it open and rip the toy away. He hadn't seen her coming and was terrified by suddenly being grabbed, so began crying and trying to get away. I came straight over and told the daughter to stop. She did and flounced off, and I comforted my crying son.
The daughter was very offended that I dare tell her no, and is close friends with the person who runs the centre. The daughter cornered me with this person in tow, gloating about how she treated my son, saying he deserved it, she wasn't sorry, would do it again if she felt like it, she could do whatever she wanted to DS because of her mum babysitting him, even trying to force me to apologise to her for telling her to stop doing that to DS, and threatening me not to tell anyone about this or else. I felt pretty threatened, so I audio recorded her rant on my phone.
I think the daughter assumes that I have told people about her behavior, as she has now gone round telling anyone who will listen some other story. Given that I now get dirty looks off people I don't even know, I think she's changed everything around to frame herself as a victim. I've tried to turn the other cheek and ignore it, as I assume that pulling out the recording of her boasting about what she did would just inflame things further. Obviously DD and DS don't go to that babysitter anymore; they said that the daughter treating DS like that was not a one off. Babysitter was upset that they no longer come, but there was no way they could go there and not be exposed to the babysitter's daughter.
I unfortunately bumped into the daughter when out and about (thankfully my children were not with me), and froze. The daughter said that the babysitter missed my children. The daughter was adamant that my children must go back to being cared for by the babysitter, otherwise she threatened that she knew people at my children's new school and school nursery and would make sure life was difficult for them there.
What on earth can I do about this? Obviously my kids are never going back to that babysitter. I am sick of being lied about. I am pretty appalled by the daughter's attempt to blackmail me into giving her access to my children by spoiling things for them at their new school. My children love their new setting. I don't want to have to move them to some other school if babysitter's daughter pulls strings gets her friends to make life hard for them there. How can I get this bullying to stop?
TLDR: Babysitter's adult daughter bullied my toddler DS, spread lies about us, and is threatening to make life difficult for my children at their new school unless I give her access to my children