Worried I’m going to be stalked

[Callie03]

Matched with a guy on online dating and have been texting and calling for 3 days. I looked up his full name and seen an article from years ago that he stalked and ex after she ended the relationship. I’ve have ended the chat with him and said I’m not dating right now due to personal circumstances, he took this well and we said parting words. I am so worried it’s making me sick that he’s going to hound me with messages or worse find out where I live or work. He knows what town I live in and my occupation but doesn’t have personal or work address. I haven’t blocked him yet but should I? Please help

Not much that you can do about it now but I wouldn't block him. Be polite if he messages and make it clear that he's wasting his time and you wish him luck.

Google your name and occupation and location and see what comes up. Are you on your work website? LinkedIn? Facebook? People post so much identifying crap about themselves. Not a good idea if you are engaging in OLD.

Thanks! I know, I’m so worried as I have a child too. I have removed my Facebook account for now and deleted my linked in however none of these stated my addresses. I’ve requested to be removed from my work website. Should I change my number or is that over kill? He hasn’t given me any reason to worry it’s just the article and charge I have read has stirred up anxiety and I’m scared

I'm not negating your feelings but you may he overthinking, unsurprisingly after what you've discovered.
Absolutely lock down your social media, Google yourself and take any precautions you feel you need.
Hopefully he'll not bother you again.
If you feel unsafe going forward, trust your instincts, that's what they're there for.

This is your anxiety talking. He stalked an ex who he was presumably in a long term relationship with. He’s not going to stalk every person he swaps messages with for a couple of days.

Thank you, I’m praying I never hear from him or come across him again. I’ve felt scared all day I keep checking my phone.

Was it definitely him in the article? Since he has been (presumably) reprimanded for it, I would like to think he would not re-offend, especially for someone he hasn't met and only spoken to for 3 days.

Yes 100% him, had a photo. It was 6 years ago and he stalked her when she ended things hounded her via text and sent her flowers. He did serve 6 months in jail for it. He seemed really in to me which has worried me. He accepted my text to end the chat though so holding on to that positivity

Six years ago is still quite recent really.

Holy cow.

I think it’s unlikely given you’ve just had a brief chat, just lockdown your online presence as PPs say

In a couple of months (when he’ll have forgotten about you) I would be inclined to send a link to the dating site who I hope would remove him.

Just block his number.

Presumably, as he is online dating, the texting for a few days and it fading out is pretty common, and he's not going to stalk every woman he comes into contact with.

No need to come off the work website or anything just now. It's good that you're alert though. Make sure you Google people before dishing out much info in future.

Just block. It's early days if OLD he is probably chatting lots of women. Probably will move on in a day or so.

Stop trying to meet people online might be healthier

Like someone else said he stalked an ex who he had been in a relationship with and must have had feelings for. You're just a radom off a dating website he hasn't met yet so I doubt he would stalk you. Yes there are some weirdos who might do that but I think it would be unlikely. Just be glad you found out early before you met him and relax but still be catious just in case

My stalker was well-known to the local police, so you might want to check there.
Also, it began out of thin air — quite frighteningly.
He called my parents early one morning out of the blue and threatened to kill them.
Then he piled wood high in front of my garage door and spray-painted obscenities on it. The bizarre thing was I was renting the house from him.
He then disappeared and called in death threats to both the local police department and county sheriff’s department.
He then called law enforcement in my parent’s town and county and threatened them, as well.
Nobody in law enforcement took him seriously, except the police in my parent’s town, and they had the other counties pursue him.
He was finally arrested and charged with felony terroristic threats and was sent to prison.
I moved and I don’t know where he is now. I’m guessing he learned his lesson, I don’t know.
I hope he sobered up.

Solid piece of advice there.

Perpetrators of stalking never venture out the house, ever - fact. Never the local pub. No hobbies. No dog walks. No coffee shops. Nowhere. ever.

It's absolutely your own fault for meeting people online. Don't you know only people who go online to meet women, stalk?

I do wonder about the days before the internet though. Guess stalking was a very rare occurrence..