AIBU to judge racist parents as 'bad' parents?

[May2December]

I think they are setting a bad example but they feel their political views are valid!

I'd say that coaching your child to become a racist is an example of bad parenting, yes. However it's not illegal and no one can stop them from doing it, unless they are inciting violence.

good question - can you be a good person and a racist?

Well how would you define a good person? I'm not sure it's a very helpful term tbh. A racist might well be lovely to his/her mum, but horrible to someone of a different ethnicity.

A good parent doesn't teach children to dislike someone for their ethnicity though. I think that's fairly straightforward.

I don't you think you can: I think being a racist makes you a bad person.

So can you be a bad person and a good parent? Possibly. Although yes you are bringing up your child with the values of a Bad Person which is wrong so er probably not.

I really think it depends on the level they are going to.......

I have lots of friends - black, white, Asian and i think there is a pressure on most of them from elders to conform to their own culture.

I have one really good friend who finished with his long term GF (whom, I have no doubt, he loved) to marry the girl 'chosen' for him. He said He always knew that his children would need to be brought up within his culture and that was something he accepted.

But, as PW says, if parents are actively catagorising people and trying to make out that one culture / race is better than the other, then that's wrong and (I had though) WAS illegal?

I think to judge a person SOLELY on their colour, sex, age or sexuality shows a real ignorance.

I don't think a racist person is a good person or a good parent.

No it's not illegal, youcannot. It's illegal to advocate racist violence, but other than that individuals can say what they like (although, thankfully, if they say it in polite company people might well rip their heads off and shit down their necks)

my nan is racist as she hates moslims

i dont think she is a bad person - i think she is a good person a very good person - with a v. bad POV

same for MIl, FIL, BIL, SILs Uncle, uncle inlaw, aunty in law.... jsut about all inlaws.

I think the whole 'bad person' thing is so vague as to be meaningless. It's like saying that someone is 'evil'. Everyone is a bad person sometimes. Even horrible people are nice sometimes.

I'm sorry custardo, I wouldn't call someone who hates all muslims just because of their race or religion a really good person.
Why do they hate muslims?

IMO it is bad parenting to poison your children's minds.

No you ANBU, racist parent=not good

I'm not even sure that I would dignify racism by calling it a 'political view'..

gosh that was poorly expressed.

...but could they be unreflected and ignorant, perhaps a little dim(?), but still be a good person?
In some cases.?

Racists I mean, obviously.

Bringing up your child in a way which would set them apart from others and make it difficult to inegrate with a proportion of society is not being a good parent.

It is reducing the chance of your child being a happy, constructive member of that society.

It depends. IF you are actively bringing them up to hold strong racist views and try to incite them to act on these views then yes bad. If you hold these views but dont do anything about it on a day to day basis and are generally a good person then it shouldnt affect whether you are a good parent or not.

I think the clue is in your op.

If someone is rascist they are not holding "political" views they are suffering from prejudice.

So therefore, if someone believes in making such gross prejudicial judgments then they cannot be a "good" parent

No, you are right Cammelia. It is my personal view that they are racist. They have a BNP poster in their window and believe this is reasonable because they believe 'all these immigrants are ruining things for everyone!' They would probably be horrified if I called them racist.

I live in an area where 4 BNP candidates are being fielded at the local elections next Thursday

If they are racist then they are not good people let alone good parents, indoctrinating their children with hate and prejudice.

Agree with Hercules, DH's parents are a bit racist (out of ignorance though, I wouldn't say it was a hate-fuelled thing).

It didn't rub off on DH though because they didn't raise him to be racist, and they have been fantastic parents to him otherwise.

FreddysTeddy, tbh I think that being 'a bit racist' is like being a bit pregnant; i.e. you either are or you aren't. I do think though that these people are not terrible parents mostly, perhaps just ignorant?

My PIL and BILs are racist, even though they got quite offended when i told them that!! My BIL openly says the N word and calls non whites wogs (sorry). This really upsets me, especially as they talk like this in front of their children. I have made it perfectly clear to DP that i will not allow any such talk in front of my DD2(aged 2). DD1(17) has witnessed it but like me, has made it clear she doesnt like it. As to whether they are bad people? I am very fond of them and they are kind parents who adore their children and grand children. They are never overtly racist, they live in a mixed community and will chat to anyone regardless of colour etc. It is the comments made behind closed doors that i dislike. To them it seems perfectly acceptable and i just dont understand it. I could blame the fact that they read the daily mail, well actually i think alot of thier prejudices come from what they read in the papers. It sort of re-enforces their old fashioned views and makes them think it is OK. They are from the generation which saw a lot of black families brought into the country and i suppose their suspicion etc is bourne out of ignorance so whilst that doesnt excuse their attitudes it sort of explains it. I think for BIL to have these attitudes is disgusting, he is his own person and should not be passing this sort of shit over to his son. I blame him totally for an incident with my nephews school where BIL and PIL were outraged because DN was suspended from school for knocking an asian lads turban off his head. They could not believe that he was suspended and "if they are gonig to wear that sort of thing to school then they should expect to have the piss taken out of them" i mean, WTF?? So they have planted the seeds of racism in this lad and are now saying his behaviour is OK because it was the other boys fault for wearing a turban in the first place . BIL adores his children, but this sort of ignorance along with the whole, my child can do no wrong attitude, makes him a less than admirable parent in my eyes.

Phew that was long.

If someone is racist, then they are racist.
They may be ignorant and their racism may stem from their ignorance, but they are still racist.

Ignorant AND racist, not ingnorant instead of racist.