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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fed up with these relationships

1 reply

Maltipoomum · 13/11/2024 20:24

Not all of them but I am feeling that a lot of the people close to me just don't value me. I would say I am a people pleaser and give a lot to relationships but there are a few situations in my life that are getting me down and making me think I am the common problem.

Someone who I would have called my best friend has made me feel like I am not good enough for years no matter what I do. We are at the point she never texts me or wants to make plans and if I do make plans she's cancelled the last 3 times, I think because I finally put some boundaries in place and didn't go to an event I was feeling anxious about when I'd never say no before. Within our friend group it is always me who makes plans, I can't remember the last time we went out and I didn't organise it. Next is that someone in the family has treated me badly (linked to SA) and the rest of my family have continued to allow it for years and still speak to them. I called this person on their behaviour and she no longer speaks to me nor do her children. Finally my boyfriend has been emotionally abusive, controlling and has punched walls in the past. I do everything around the house with little thanks and constantly feel I have to do more to be good enough.

I know I probably have to end my relationship but struggling to believe I'm not the problem. I do have some people that I feel value me but just feeling pretty fed up of the dynamics. Maybe I am expecting too much from people or I'm just not really good enough but I dont know how to move forward

OP posts:
Catza · 13/11/2024 21:09

Stop trying to be good enough "for likes". Learn some boundaries and live for yourself. Kindness to others doesn't mean sacrificing your own happiness, time and value. People should love you for you not for how many loads of a wash you did per week.
Also, once you step back a bit, you stop expecting people to be grateful. The truth is, most people are probably not asking you for half the this you elect to do for them. Trust me, I've been there

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