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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parenting one...

3 replies

Kellythekidd · 13/11/2024 10:03

Myself and DP both work full time he works shifts, I work mon to Fri 9-5.

We have three primary school aged kids, I do all the school drop offs and Child minder pick ups. I do dinner, homework's, washing up, cleaning, laundry and the big shop once a week. I also do 90% of the extra curricular activities.

We are all sick this week so the kids have been at my parents getting looked after while we both work. DP is on his late shifts this week so starts at 2pm to 12am. Yesterday morning he got up and went to play his hobby before work- so he left at 730am and I left with the kids at 745am. I got home from work made dinner the usual. Bed time was crazy with 3 sick little ones and they were all up and down most of the night. When DP got home he settled one back to sleep at 1am and slept in the spare room with him.

this morning DP is annoyed because I woke him at 730am to sit with the kids while I finished getting ready for work then I left with the kids at 745. He is now at home alone until 1 when he will need to leave for work. This is a regular argument we have he doesn't think when he is on a late shift that he should get up for no more than 30 mins to help me get the kids out for school. Then he calls me selfish my two youngest are very demanding in the mornings and like to mope about before school so mornings are crazy and I have two seperate drop offs to do before I have to go back on myself and get back up to work. Pissed off!!!

OP posts:
Stormyweatheroutthere · 13/11/2024 10:06

Seems like your dc only have 1 parent..
And you have 3 small dc and a moody teenager...
Maybe lessen your workload by adding to his subtley if he won't step up. Leave his laundry and he can make his own meals. He can practice managing alone. Before it becomes his reality.

NuffSaidSam · 13/11/2024 10:08

Sit down with him, make a list of everything you each do. If they're even, great. If they're not, it's time to make some changes so that they are.

If he is unwilling to be an equal partner and parent, I'd have a think about what changes you need to make for you to be happy.

Kellythekidd · 13/11/2024 10:46

I have an appt coming up next week in hospital that he knows I'm extremely nervous about too and he still doesn't even try and take the load off without reminding me how he's been at work!!

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