To not be present obsessed at xmas

[Battenbergcoconutice]

I keep seeing thread after thread about "how much do you spend on Xmas presents for your children" or discussing the vital importance of getting gifts right. Why is everyone so obsessed with presents at Xmas? Am I the only one who thinks the magic of Christmas is being with people you love, the atmosphere, decorations good food etc? You can do so much with stockings for children on a budget, or what's wrong with everyone home makes a present family gifts??? Ergh the materialism of Xmas gets worse year on year. I can't be alone in thinking this. Saw a thread where the OP said parents spent 1k plus on gifts PER CHILD and had 100+ presents each. Mums then reaponding feeling guilty they aren't doing enough. Want to bash my head against a brick wall...

I've got autistic kids so Christmas is pretty low key in this house and i love it.
A few gifts each,normalish food with a few extra treats.
And family time with out all the sensory hustle and bustle of having to go places that are too busy and loud.
As long as my kids are happy I'm happy and I'm not in competition with anybody to make Christmas commercialised 🤷‍♀️.

You do you, and everyone else will do them. No one is forcing you to participate.

It's the months of stressing and feeling compelled to fill a budget or buy x amount of stuff that's a problem. Different people have different situations and there isn't a right or wrong way to do it.

But stressing yourself to stretch your budget and fill your home with extraneous stuff isn't a healthy habit and there's lots of other enjoyable ways to celebrate Christmas.

I don’t over complicate Xmas. I put £50 a side each month and start shipping about now. For the last few years I’ve gifted ‘experiences’ for Xmas as they don’t seem to want much!

Am I the only one who thinks the magic of Christmas is being with people you love, the atmosphere, decorations good food etc?

Yes you’re the only one. No one has ever previously had this thought 😭

😂 exactly!! You can do both you know op, you’re not ‘winning’ at Christmas because you’re home-making a present or two. Let people enjoy things ffs.

I dont celebrate xmas and refuse to wawte money on decorations or a tree i. Will buy the odd person a gift but thats it when i explain this to people the horror on their faces and the offence this causes is hilarious but look into the true origins of Christmas and you will find it actually a pagen festival and nothing to do with birth of christ who was born between march and june by the way the christains took over Xmas and expelled the myth of it a Christian festival in victorian times and the sheep of the world brought the lie whole heartedily then the shops got in on the scam and made it commercial and the sheep brought this lie whole heartedily

Everyone can obviously do as they please but a big pile of extravagant presents worth hundreds of pounds from just your parents is revolting, IMO.

@Hereforaglance aren't the origins of decorating your home part of the pagan festival?
Winter is dark so people will have always brightened their environment with light (ie candles) and things that are pretty.

Am I the only one who thinks the magic of Christmas is being with people you love, the atmosphere, decorations good food etc?

We enjoy all of these things AND buy lots of presents. Do you think people who spend lots don’t enjoy being with family and friends, good food etc? It’s possible to enjoy it all.

Just do what you like and leave others to do things their way. I can’t imagine being bothered about how others choose to do Christmas.

Just wait for the annual "GPs spent 50p more on one of the children" posts...
Luckily, out teen announced last year that we shouldn't be doing Christmas presents anymore so we didn't and just spent nice time with family instead and exchanged cards.

Yes but was queen Victoria who first coined the Xmas tree look it up it quiet interesting but it does highly offend people though as they want the myth of Christianity for whzt ever reasons

@Hereforaglance yes it was Queen Victoria and Prince Albert who bought the concept of the Christmas tree over from Germany.
But think about it - a tree. Something natural that was decorated to look sparkly and pretty.
Humans have been doing that forever - whatever the religion or culture.
Edit : actually I think Queen Charlotte had Christmas trees too. Vicky and Al just made them more popular.

Yanbu, but the spending on Christmas is each to their own imo. I rather get a handful of proper thoughtful presents or none at all. I’d take someone babysitting our kids for a night or day than a physical present.

What annoys me is the questioning about why not lots of presents because “it’s Christmas”. I don’t because I realised it was wasteful and remember my mum clearing out the house and complaining about the large amount of presents that were never opened.

Our kids are happy with a small amount, enjoy when we take them out with the soft play vouchers they get instead of toys (which they have plenty of that they are still happy with.

I use the sales to stock up on necessities for next year in case prices continue to go up.

That is a very unusual teenager and sounds like someone who has everything they want.

Not all children are in that position.

Because everyone has different ways of doing things? I love seeing my 4 year olds face when he comes down to loads of presents, equally I love the quality family time too - you can enjoy both

Everyone has their own way of doing Christmas. But I think when competitive gift buying/decoration/food enters the mix, particularly if people stretch themselves financially to achieve their "best Christmas ever" that it becomes tedious.

I'm of the view that it's each to their own. I don't celebrate Christmas much, I have a good close relationship with my family - in laws and outlaws and their families, and see them now and then all year round. There's no need (IMV) for a get together at all, and since there are so many of us now it is impossible to get everyone together on the one day anyway. Because of that, there is a rota of hosts (usually the women) and I have dropped out of all that now.

No kids here, both early retired, so we leg it on 15th Dec. and return around mid Jan. Face Time on Christmas Day to wherever the gathering is, is as much as I do. Then go back to the sunbed and a good book.

We all agreed to no gifts for adults (or those who have left college and are now working). Only for the little ones. That's easy and everyone is very relieved.

@DurhamDurham Thank you and I'm going to make it as special as I can and I'm even gonna wrap some weird things up like a box of Viennese whirls for my daughter to open lol my son used to get mixed up and call them Vietnamese whirls haha that's just one example of the sort of Christmas we are going to have, loads of presents but each with a lovely memory so I bet we spend most of Christmas Day laughing and crying

Yea I'm not sure why people need validation or comparisons to others about how much they spend at Christmas. You figure out what you can afford and what's appropriate and that's what you do.
I grew up when it was one major present (like a doll) and a few little bits.
I ask my kids if they have a list and it goes from long and unrealistic when young kids to more sensible now (19 and 21). One has asked for a book, a crochet throw (made by me), the other his footie team shirt, a crochet beanie/scarf, a bit of cash towards his car budget. That's it. As kids it seemed as long as they got the same number of gifts as each other they were happy, be that four or ten.

Pretty much came here to say this. If I want to spend an "obscene" amount of money on a large pile of gifts for my DC AND enjoy the atmosphere and family company and food, then I damn well will 😂

Who cares what other people do or don't do, or spend or don't spend. It doesn't affect my enjoyment of Christmas one bit.🤷‍♀️

The posts that drive me nuts are (and to be fair I see these on my local FB group rather than MN) ‘my girl/boy has got everything, never played with their toys from last year haha, anyone got any ideas what to get them?’ Stop wasting your money people!

The same goes for the posts about "buying for an adult who has no need of anything, what can I get them".😵‍💫

I love Christmas so much. I spoil my two absolutely rotten. Spend thousands.

It doesn't affect anyone else.

I have raised 3 kids who are not materialistic, and we tend to buy them a gift for Christmas which is something they really want. The cost isn't important, and often we have bought things second hand. Not once have they compared gift costs.

We tend to buy a family gift of a visit somewhere, or an experience. Something fun to do together, as that's what Christmas is about.

They then get a stocking from Father Christmas (even the teenager!), plus some other gifts from family.

I see videos posted online of kids ripping open gift after gift, hardly even giving much attention to each thing. Kids moaning that siblings got more etc... Does anyone honestly believe that kids NEED that much stuff?!?!?!?

DS1 made friends with this local boy (different school), and when they were round here, just listening to this friend made me annoyed. We "only" had a PS4 (he had a PS5), my DS had a PC with a rubbish spec, and his was SO much better (perhaps - but given neither are high flying gamers, the spec of my DS's PC was more than adequate). Everything my DS had, this boy had bigger or better or newer. Thankfully my son got bored of this mentality so doesn't often hang out with him now! This child was so materialistic it made me cringe - I would never want my kids to grow up like that!)

You’re not wrong but your post is motherhood and apple pie and a bit sanctimonious.

It sounds like a bit of a stealth brag about how discerning and sustainably aware you are and also so obvious it doesn’t need to be said.

No one (or almost no one) goes out of their way to “obsess” over presents. But for many families Christmas is the one time of year they can justify a bit of self indulgence. Why can’t you let people do what they need to do to make their families happy and crack on with the Christmas you want?

@Ihopeithinkiknow very sorry for your losses. Hope you and your DD have a lovely Christmas.

@Ihopeithinkiknow I'm very sorry for your losses. And I hope you & your dd have as nice a day as possible together
Love the vienniese whirls!

OP I sort of understand where you're coming from but like others have already said, it's possible to buy nice gifts and enjoy gathering with family & friends for good food & wine etc. We do both!

We decorate nicely with decorations we've collected over our 24 years together. We mostly host family of some combination & cook really delicious food.

We totally spoil our teen dc now & it actually looks like nothing as generally the boxes are small but pricey!

We never ever share any of it on social media & never have. I don't give a hoot what anyone else does.

We work & earn what we spend. Dh & I also love to spoil each other with lovely thoughtful gifts & sometimes they're expensive & sometimes more tokens depending.

I HATE when people put photos of piles of gifts on social media. Now that's tacky.