Older sibling leaching of my mother

[SnappyRoseExpert]

Any advice would be appreciated….
My sibling still lives at home (which would be fine) if they actually contributed to the household. They’ve never worked and don't claim benefits or atleast thats what theyve told my mother when she asks for any money to help towards rent. I think it’s worth mentioning my sibling is 30 years old and also has no friends and doesnt leave the house. I feel awful for my mother as I know shes struggling and is in a way being held hostage as she has tried everything to get my sibling to contribute or get a job and has even kicked her out but nothing works. We feel as if my sibling may have a disability that wasnt picked up back then as the behaviour they exhibit isnt exactly normal. They also refuse point blank to interact with job centers and doctors and anyone else for that matter. My mothers tried everything and shes not exactly getting any younger and I do worry about what will happen in the future if my sibling doesnt get help and learn to live independently as my mum wont be here forever. Has anyone dealt with this before

My sibling is similar. Never had a proper job and makes up excuses why they cant work, always been financially supported by our parent. They clearly have no conscience and feel no guilt. Things appear to be getting worse now and getting money out of them appears to be a bit of a sport for my sibling. The problem is our parent isn't firm enough and as almost encouraged it so it's a bit of a two way thing.

It maddens me that things are not equal. It's not the money but the time. As a single parent, I have always had to work, am time poor and generally run ragged. While my siblings effectively still lives like a teenager on permanent holiday.

My sibling has said they think they have ASD however I think it more psychological and they actually have an extremely manipulative personality.

Sounds like your sub has mental health issues. Talk to your GP about how to get them the help they need.

I feel sorry for your sibling.

That's no life.

I think that there's a chance they have some sort of diagnosis that was never picked up on.

ETA They don't sound like a leach. They sound to be currently unable to live independently. Someone, somewhere along the lines has failed them as they've never had the help they needed to work towards independent living.

I don't believe one single person who says they genuinely feel they have ASD is just making excuses!

I'm sick of this shit. Mum's and adults are called lazy so often on here when there are actual disabilities behind it.

OP, you're worried because your inheritance is being sucked up or because you'll be getting calls to help your disabled sibling if your mum passes. I don't judge you for that; it's totally human to worry. You don't want that responsibility so of course it's stressful to consider.

It sounds like this is a genuine disability. I know many who struggle like this. Autism, for some, is not blindingly obvious but instead looks like laziness.

Maybe speak to your mum about provisions for your sibling should she pass away. Exactly how will she be cared for if she is incapable - which it sounds like she may be.

They point blank refuse to see doctors however we are having to go down the adult social care route to see what can be done😞

Unfortunately there is no inheritance as my mother is struggling financially with the cost of running a home with no contributions from my sibling. My sibling has always been the same but due to her age I’m fairly certain that autism or Asperger’s which are the disabilities we think she may have were unheard of 15 years ago when she was a teen and we started to realise something may be off with her.