After moving both my kids to another primary school, I knew we'd never join a school group chat again. I’d had enough of the constant gossip—talking about teachers, events, sports, things we already saw in the school newsletter each week. Just a few parents chatted the most, acting like they were best friends with each other.
But what really got to me was how, when we were going through the absolute toughest time, no one seemed to care. My husband had an OOTH cardiac arrest. He was airlifted to the hospital, spent four weeks in an induced coma, and faced one complication after another—sepsis, pneumonia, hypoxic brain injury. There were points when we were told he might not make it. I was trying to hold everything together alone with two small kids, just starting a new job on probation after losing my last one while caring for my dad.
My daughter would come home in tears because some classmates wouldn’t even let her take her turn in games. I mentioned our situation briefly in the whatapps chat, not wanting to beg for help, but just hoping someone might be a bit kinder or encourage their kids to include mine. But NOTHING.
They were all too busy planning playdates, sharing bargains and chatting about where best to see northern lights. People who used to say hello or make small talk at the school gate started avoiding eye contact, even taking different paths to avoid us. And when my husband finally went to rehab, I brought our son to a classmate’s birthday party. Five other parents were there—parents who knew exactly what we’d been through. Not one of them even asked how he was doing.
We’ve been part of this community for three years, with more years ahead of us, and that’s what we got. I’d love to move away from here, but with the mortgage and my job, I just can’t justify it right now. So we switched schools, and I haven’t looked back.
Funny enough, it’s the CCU nurses and the Consultants from the hospital, when we bump into them, asking how my husband’s doing, patting the kids and being kind to them. My new colleagues (only saw me in 30 mins Teams call a handful of times) offered to look after my kids on inset days even theirs were at school. People who barely know us show more kindness than those we thought were part of our community. It’s heartbreaking, but I’ve learned who we can really count on. I wish I could move back, bringing up our kids in a better community. I am pushing myself to earn more and start saving against the stamp duty