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AIBU?

to think this article is using internet forums as yet another stick to beat mother's with?

13 replies

FreddysTeddy · 27/04/2008 14:33

I'm interested in this article:

www.boston.com/lifestyle/family/articles/2008/04/22/connection_failure/?page=full

It basically seems to be implying that mothers who spend a lot of time online shouldn't do so because it means they will neglect/won't bond with their babies.

Am I being totally over-sensitive?

It's quite possible I am.

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lljkk · 27/04/2008 14:36

Bodhi? Who would call their son Bodhi? Sorry, cant take rest seriously.

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blueshoes · 27/04/2008 15:03

"Habitual Internet use while nursing, especially if the baby's awake and seeking the mother's eyes, concerns Rich. "It can be a real rejection for the baby, for whom you fill his or her world," he said.

All the mothers interviewed revealed an attunement to their babies' cues and moods. The effect of Internet use on bonding may be a matter of missed, rather than absent, opportunities."

Because every minute of the day of a mother's day must be dedicated to the mythical Bonding with a baby. God forbid if she missed a few opportunities or had to cook dinner or pick up other children on a school run. BTW, my baby never looked at me when feeding. His face was in my boobs!

Freddysteddy, I have the feeling that this article was written by a non-parent. It is quite silly. You are right.

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biscuitsmustbedunkedintea · 27/04/2008 15:58

Have they missed the point that a pc's fan whirring is white noise and so soothes baby off to sleep

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justaboutneedssleep · 27/04/2008 16:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spicemonster · 27/04/2008 16:01

Any article which states "Time spent on the Web is associated with increased depression," without any kind of research behind it is a load of toss IMO. That's like saying 'time spent reading books is associated with increased depression.' It covers such a wide range of different activities/interests, it's meaningless.

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FAQ · 27/04/2008 16:07

Bodhi is a Hindi name I think........

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FreddysTeddy · 27/04/2008 18:14

So glad it's not just me and you all think it's b*llocks too

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FrannyandZooey · 27/04/2008 18:17

we-ell
I think there is something in it
the attention you give your children when on an internet forum IS markedly different from that while, for example, reading a book
it is more like being on the phone - you aren't really concentrating or able to interact with them at the same time
you do lose eye contact
if you're reading a book your concentration snaps back as soon as you lower the book, it doesn't work like that with a pc

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FreddysTeddy · 27/04/2008 18:27

I can't do anything other than read a book while I'm reading a book . Is there something wrong with me?

I can just as easily break from the PC as from a book though...

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FrannyandZooey · 27/04/2008 18:37

well, in theory you can, but people don't in practice

if you're reading a book and someone starts to speak to you, you put the book down and give them your attention and eye contact

if you're on the pc and someone starts to speak to you, you may listen and answer them but half the time your eyes will still be on the screen

it's the same reason driving while talking on the phone is not a good idea - you are still giving the other person on the phone your attention even when you need it to be on the road

screens and phones are interactive in a way that books and other hobbies are not

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FreddysTeddy · 27/04/2008 18:43

Oh, got you, I see your point.

I use a laptop and whenever I need to avert my attention I shut the lid, so it's not a problem for me

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FrannyandZooey · 27/04/2008 18:51

oh well you are v disciplined then
I always think when using the laptop I am only half here
so it is my own guilt speaking

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Charmander · 27/04/2008 18:58

quite often when i was reading a book my toddlers would get my head in both their hands and turn it to face them.
I am capable of shutting off totally when i read without realising it.

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