To have a grumble about overly prescriptive Christmas donation collections

[Lochroy]

I probably am and it's just a grumble, but we're feeling the pinch at home, yet I'd still like to be able to help if we can, plus the DC are asking about one of the because it's via school.

Both via school and work we've been given lists of what's needed. One is for a children's charity but the stuff needs to be new. Good quality second hand isn't accepted. The other wants a shoebox full. To fill it with items from the list will be beyond what I can afford.

I think I'm going to have to disappoint the DC and we'll just donate cash to a charity which wants it.

AIBU to think the scale of the appeal asks is too much?

It's way too much to ask 2024.

IIRC aren’t the shoebox ones all weird Christian missionary type charities anyway?

I actually think “new” is a reasonable request. Disadvantaged kids shouldn’t have to be grateful for any old shit. If you aren’t in a position to donate then fair enough. Plus peoples version of good quality will vary massively!!

Shoebox appeals can be done quite cheaply with bits from Poundland but if they are being prescriptive about what should be in there, I can see how they can get expensive really quickly.

There are normally appeals to fund Christmas Day for a homeless person at a centre where they get a decent meal, a bit of fun and some healthcare. That would be a lovely thing to do.

Just checked. Samaritan’s Purse (Operation Christmas Child) has heavy cult vibes. So avoid if it’s them.

‘Helping people leave false religions’ eg. Converting ‘savages’ 🤢

Yes they use them to proselytise. Put Christian literature in the boxes and give them to Muslim children.

The mum and baby charity appeal is more of a seasonal push rather than for Christmas gifting items. But clothing has to be new, and only in certain sizes, for example.

I can kind of see the refusal to accept good quality second hand stuff. It gives the charity extra work to do to make sure that toys are safe, kitemarked etc, and toiletries haven’t been tampered with, or partly used. 99% of people would make decent contributions but there will always be someone who sees it as an opportunity to get rid of a load of old junk.

The shoebox one will be the "here have a gift and a leaflet about christ and how he can save your soul".

The new toys seems fair enough tbh. No one wants an old manky toy for Christmas and someone in dire straits deserves to have one new toy for themselves not hand me downs. If you have second hand toys then give it to a charity shop

What's wrong with that?

I always buy some meals for the homeless in our city, and I also buy the ingredients for Christmas dinner for a family. The homeless meals are a fiver so you can give and not spend too much, and you can choose a smaller family to suit your budget for Christmas dinner. Both great charities and capture the essence of giving I think

You don’t have to participate; vote with your feet when it comes to charity. I can understand buying new items when it comes to children, especially for toys, toiletries, and consumables. If you want to do something for charity, do your research and find a cause you care about as a family. There are many, many small and large charities to choose from.

Yeah I agree with this.

I think it's awful that it's expected. I'm a school governor and am very concerned not to be putting financial pressure for anything on families at the moment. Don't they realise many of the parents may be struggling to get anything for their own kids never mind donating? It's quite insensitive during a cost of living crisis. You can be sure that those least able to afford it will go out of their way to do it so as not to be seen as poor.

Rotary shoebox is ok I believe?

I agree it’s a shame because I could give £100s of second hand Lego, resorted into sets with boxes and leaflets but instead it’s going on Vinted.
I will buy a new set but they are more expensive now.

Children and baby clothes can be bought very cheaply from Primark or Asda. Just something really small and fill the shoebox with cheap Poundland things. Once wrapped up and delivered no one will know who gave what but your DC will be happy.

You could always check the charity shops for things new with tags? You can sometimes find new boxed toys as well.

The rotary shoeboxes only go to Eastern Europe to Christian communities (or secular but culturally Christian). They accept preloved items too

It won't be compulsory to do this if you are going to financially struggle to buy new (and if the shoebox is Samaritans Purse I would refuse to do it and tell the school why).
I don't have an issue with the gifts having to be new. If you are told "secondhand is fine" you get a mix of stuff still in excellent condition vs half used colouring books and a bag of broken crayons.
It makes it easier to have a set rule of new.

I think so
ive even seen people on Twitter talking about how they used to receive them at Christmas and they were always just full of tat they didn’t want or need

If you really want to do the shoe box (but there should be no pressure!), could you join forces with a couple of the kids friends and make one between a couple of you? The kids still get to have fun building it but costs are then split?

We never did the shoe boxes just explained to the children that they are not just given as gifts but the children are forced to listen to Christian spiel to be given the item and that we won’t do that.

Then we would go and donate 10 advent calendars to the local food bank for children.

Also I don’t think anything is kept in the shoebox they will take everything out, pool it with everyone else’s and resort it all. Nobody actually receives the specific box you put together.

The shoebox goes to very poor children in Eastern Europe. I know this because I received one as a (very poor) child and it was the only Christmas gift I ever received as a child. I remember every single item that was in that box and the pure happiness and excitement I felt. Because of this we donate boxes religiously every year, it’s organised by the kids’ school.

The toys must be new because there are fools out there who only donate things that are absolutely disgusting and the last thing you need is to expose a new mum / baby to mould / fleas etc. But you can get a decent toy for under £5. Just give your dc a bit less this year for Christmas