Oh dear. Feeling deflated on my birthday. AIBU?
Birthdays are not a big thing in my family so I don’t expect masses. Just some effort above the norm, and evidence of pre- planning as a way of showing someone you’re important to them.
My husband of ten years isn’t brilliant at this, but last year was a big birthday so I spent the weeks prior to it making HUGE , OBVIOUS hints about what I wanted (a weekend away with something fun/different planned). He did great, we had a city break at a spa and theatre trip. Wonderful.
This year, he has been flat out with work for weeks, but I just hoped I wouldn’t need to do all the hinting again. So I made just a couple of little mentions, and put it in the shared diary.
He sweetly made breakfast for me and the kids and bought some gifts (bag of coffee, some chutney, a book I like, chocolates) which was lovely.
But our ‘thing to do’ was… go for coffee and a dog walk. That’s it. No babysitter organised for anything tonight, so tonight is just work/kids tea/bed…the usual.
Being the middle aged peri menopausal grump that I probably now am, I haven’t hid my disappointment. I wanted to feel special and I don’t. Not even close. We went for coffee and he picked up on my sour mood, he asked why and I told him I was disappointed. So we came home and didn’t do the dog walk.
I just feel like that’s something we do on any day of the year when we have free time?
He has now sent me an angry message saying most people would love coffee and a dog walk on their birthday. And that I’m making him feel like an arsehole when he’s been working tremendously hard for our family (he has. As have I.)
Ugh. I don’t want to be an expectant spoilt princess… but maybe I am….
(on his birthday, I researched and found a fab pottery cafe in a resort town where we painted all afternoon, it was so fun. Then Organised lunch, a hotel stay (I’d pre planned childcare) dinner and theatre. I wanted him to feel special, I think he did…)
AIBU?