To think that people who don’t like pets shouldn’t be judged as “cold”?

[ByMellowScroller]

Not everyone loves animals, yet people think it’s a red flag. AIBU to think it’s just personal preference and nothing more?

Tbh I have more respect for them than for those who claim to "love" animals but pay other people to torture and kill them so they can have a sandwich.

We are pet free. Shorthand would be I don't like pets, so if that writes me off as cold, so be it.
They are a responsibility that I don't have the money or headspace for.

I love birds (uncaged) and wildlife.

Yes, there is actually a difference between pets and animals per se.

Wanting to cause harm to animals (any animal) is wrong, and a red flag.

Most harm to animals is not the result of mean, cold people deciding not to have pets. Instead it's caused by the meat/dairy industry - thousands upon thousands of animals affected every year.

Further harm is inflicted on pet animals through e.g. the puppy breeding industry. Literally the only people who support that industry are the so-called "pet lovers". Us mean, cold people without pets have nothing to do with it.

I think it's a massive red flag to call yourself an "animal lover" while anthropomorphising your cute pets, but ignoring all the other animals that are impacted by your choices.

On many posts you get people saying they prefer pets to people. I feel the opposite. I wouldn't ever keep a pet, I have kids and a job already and don't want the added responsibility of a pet. It is a huge responsibility and I'd want to do a good job if I had one. It doesn't mean I can't coo over other people's pets (next dir have new kittens and they are beautiful), or show concern for a friend when her beloved dog died. I've rescued a neighbours pet rabbit who was cowering under our trampoline on bonfires night. I don't like to see animals in distress. I think that makes me far from cold but you do you.

I don’t like pets as a rule but it doesn’t make me a cold person. I can appreciate that some of them are cute and that other people enjoy them. On an individual basis I don’t mind specific dogs/cats etc that belong to friends and family members.

I don’t like pets because many of them make me itchy and I prefer to have a clean home free from litter trays, cages and dog hair. Nothing at all to do with being unfeeling to an animal.

Depends what you mean by red flag. Whilst it doesn't NECESSARILY mean you are a sociopath, (😆) it definitely means you are someone I would have no interest in having in my life in any way.
Not wanting pets of your own is very different (but also a deal breaker for me) to just saying you don't like any animals.

I don't have an issue with people not wanting a pet, that's just a lifestyle choice and I wouldn't judge them for that any more than I would judge a person for not wanting children. Sometimes people's circumstances/health/location/career choice plays a part in these decisions.

What I don't like, however is the tone of moral superiority from anti-pet people. They always start banging on about veganism, caring about the environment and the anthropomorphism of pet animals. No matter what you say in response they shout you down because they are right and you are wrong.

These threads always go the same way and it's pointless trying to say that you have a dog but you're also a vegan, you have a garden full of trees and plants that encourage wildlife, that you put up bird boxes, don't drive a monstrous SUV or fly abroad twice a year. Or that you have a dog but don't frequent coffee shops, that your dog doesn't wear clothes or have a pram or get referred to as a fur baby. That it's never been to a beauty parlour, doesn't get its own advent calendar and that it is being reared in a way compatible with its instincts.

Because to the anti-pet people, all dogs are inbred, deformed, smell of wee, are called Fifi-Trixiebelle and live on cream cakes. Anything else disappoints them.

Im an animal lover and a pet lover and have been vegan for over 8 yrs.
I feel that now gives me the license to judge you all....

feel free to imagine my smug expression as I look down my nose at you!

LOL😂

In terms of pets and animals... I'm indifferent. I'm just not very interested in them in all honesty. I don't wish them harm. I'm empathetic....I'd be upset to see an animal being mistreated. I don't hate them but I don't love them...

I’m a vegan, an animal lover, and I’ve lived wild and free in the woods, communing with the animal kingdom for the last 3 years. The only clothes I wear are fashioned from large leaves (that fall naturally, I don’t pick them), and I subsist on roots, berries, and extremely carefully curated mushrooms.

My friends all have dogs and cats and I was brought up with dogs and cats, I like to fuss my friends animals and enjoy seeing them when I’m at their houses but I personally do not want them in my house, the smell, dirt, extra responsibility, cost, less spontaneity and we both work so don’t have the time to dedicate to pets which as far as I am concerned makes me a sensible person unlike some owners now a days who shouldn’t have pets and spoil it for the responsible pet owners

But you have a rooted hatred of badly-behaved pet dogs?

Actually, a friend of mine who has an ingrained terror of dogs after a nasty bite in childhood, is fine with coyotes and wolves, having lived in places where both were naturally occurring. She says no one shouts 'It's OK -- he's friendly!' while their off-the-leash labrador races towards you in the park.

Absolutely not. I don't think cats and dogs are the natural order of things, and would prefer we maintain our true wildlife, such as foxes, badgers, squirrels. I would prefer it if dogs and cats did not exist. They do not fit into the ecosystem.

No one wants them running feral. I would want them to be phased out, no more breeding. Problem solved.

Yet the million pound business of making dogs ‘cuter’ to the point they have many health problems, can’t breath properly etc but hey as long as they look cute eh?! 🙄

I chose not to have pets as I wouldn’t want them left alone all day when we’re all at work. It’s not fair on the animal.

Anyone that agrees with OP I assume you’re vegan? It hypocritical if not.

Nor do humans.

👀

I work in community healthcare and I often visit people at home.
When I first started, I really wasn’t keen on dogs, didn’t like them jumping round and licking me, felt on edge round them etc.
But I need to develop a rapport with my patients, and a good way of doing that is showing a friendly interest in their pets. So I suppressed my feelings and tried to interact with dogs as much as possible. And doing that I started to like them much more. It’s hard to not like an animal when you are talking to it, and it is responding back, and the owner is smiling and chuckling and opening up to you. So I’m really glad I managed to change my response. But it was my own decision to do that. Nobody should be expected to change their response, or judged if they don’t (obviously I’m not talking about actively mistreating animals).

If I hadn’t made myself do that, probably lots of owners would be viewing me as cold. But I wasn’t, just wary.
People who have had negative experiences (I hadn’t really) have lots of reason to be wary, nervous, scared, completely averse. Everyone has different experiences.

I like my cat, not keen on dogs. Having/not having pets is a matter of personal preference and/or ability to care for animal. A red flag would be abusing animals, but not having pets? Nah.

Sorry, I’m confused. What has being a vegan got to do with it?

Can I not have pets if I’m not a vegan?

Fair enough, but I also think that people who keep pets in suboptimal conditions (ie a massive proportion of pet owners) for their own pleasure or entertainment are vastly more 'sociopathic' than someone who simply doesn't care much for having dogs or whatever other animal as pets

I love dogs, which is exactly why I've absolutely no interest in giving one a suboptimal life in my home. Similarly, I love goats, but no one seems to think it unusual that I haven't got one holed up in my small garden...

Yes, a former neighbour said exactly that when I moved in and mentioned having two cats (who she would never see, because they're indoor-only). Not just "I hate cats" but a detailed description of cruelty to a kitten, which she claimed was why she hated cats.

I never understand the animal lover/vegan/pets issue...🤔

I'm an animal lover and a vegan and I have pets. Is that wrong?

Of course you can.

But surely you can see the contradiction in calling people who don't like pets "cold" and describing it as a red flag while simultaneously paying for the mass slaughter of farm animals.