Fat shaming baby

[Alee36]

Perhaps a bit of a sensationalist title! 😂 Writing mostly for a rant, but otherwise, for any genuine advice. More a 'am I being oversensitive' than unreasonable.

I am a ftm to my darling little girl, who is 3 months this week. She was born at 40+5, weighing 6 pounds 15, a decent and average birth weight I thought, though it was cited that she was 'small for her gestational age', by a number of midwives and by health visitors at subsequent visits.

LO is ebf, and was slow to put on weight, not any cause for concern, though consistently mentioned, and I was asked to consider supplementing feeds with formula (I didn't in the end as she started to catch up).

At her last weigh (14th Oct) my LO was 13 pounds 4, I've taken her today and she is 15 pounds 6. I am/was absolutely made up and relieved with her weight gain, given her slow start and the fact that breastfeeding is so hard to quantify.

The health visitor on hand today said 'hmmmm she's in the 91st percentile and hasn't moved since last time, bring her back for monitoring next month'. I was anxious as my first assumption was that she wasn't weighing enough, but when I asked if all was okay, she said that if my baby was bottle fed, they'd be suggesting dropping a few ounces, but that they couldn't say that to me. Then she said 'I can see that she's tall, so maybe it's okay'.

MAYBE??? What's the issue here, is there one? I was also struggling to get back on my baby's suit as she was wriggling and the woman said 'maybe it's a bit small for her'. (It isn't). I was outraged. I'm not slim myself so felt like there was an overall judgement there. I'm probably being oversensitive, but convinced it was an odd exchange all round. AIBU?

Is my baby huge? Can you overfeed breastfed babies?

Thanks!

I had my Ds 17 years ago .. I found an ebf growth chart . Put it in his red book and insisted they used that chart .

My Ds was 7lbs 2oz … he is now 6 ft tall and not overweight . He definitely looked like Buddha at some point ..The Hv just smiled and said I was giving him gold top milk ( it used to be milk with cream on the top as your probably too young to remember) it was said all with glee .

Outraged is a bit of an overreaction.

Remember that parenting is one long journey

I did joke with my partner that we should probably stop giving her all that KFC 😂

You can overfeed a breastfed baby, but it doesn’t sound like that is a concern in your case. The ones I’ve seen (such as TikTok’s “pineapple baby”) were obvious: very large, struggling, laboured breathing, etc.

Perhaps a bit dramatic 😂 flustered would probably be more accurate.

My HV told me I absolutely should be waking my baby (FF) when he fell asleep towards the end of a feed to get the approx half ounce he left into him. He was my second baby and an absolute dream - slept well, was putting on the appropriate amount of weight and was very content - why on earth would I waken him? Second time round so I did what I thought was right and if he fell asleep I left him to sleep.

DS was a tiny 6.5 pounds when he was born.
BF’d him into a bouncing butterball of a baby.

You & your baby are doing great. Keep going!

You can? How so? I don't pump and feed and don't combi. Literally just the boob, as often and for however long she wants.

Absolutely ludicrous. Our six month old DS is 98% for weight and height. He's just a big lad. If baby is otherwise ok then it's an irrelevance. She's an idiot.

I think you might be taking hv observations the wrong way. HV have little to go on other than growth rate of baby, and when it doesn't follow the expected curve band (or a nearby curve), it can indicate a cause for concern.

I don't know what percentile your lo was at birth, but given the birth weight you mention, we're probably talking the lower end of the scale... and very quickly they're near the top of the growth charts and jumping rapidly. It's probably fine, but hv should be observing this and making sure that follow-ups indicate all normal.

Most likely, your baby had a slightly lower birth weight than their 'normal' for some unknown reason. Mine had the opposite and were chunks at birth, but then tapered quite quickly to their 'normal' size with bf.

The slight convern with major jumps in growth bands like this is that it's an indication of something that should be checked out. Most of the time, it's not the case, but what if it is? I've always been glad someone else is keeping an eye on things too (despite wanting to rip their eyes out for some statements).

It seems like health care professionals are constantly in trouble for being negligent or over-cautious. They can't win. And I've never met someone who wasn't upset by some suggestion or other made by hv - it's a minefield.

My twins were 6lbs each at birth, and really struggled to put on weight at first. Then, suddenly, they took off and have been at the top of the charts for height and weight ever since. One is actually off the chart for height. They are nearly nine now and no one would ever describe them as overweight, but they are taller and perhaps sturdier than others their age.
I used to dread taking them to be weighed because I knew they were big babies, and my own insecurities around my weight made me feel like others were judging my ability to feed them properly. As it turns out, this is just how they’re built. They are long and lean, but bigger than other children. You can feel confident knowing that your baby is healthy and growing, and that you are doing all the right things to keep her that way.

I had the exact same thing with my middle child. He was 99th centil and they told me to cut out feeds! Also ebf, and 99th for height too I thought they were being ridiculous and ignored them. At the end of the day they don't know everything and a lot of what they say appears to be opinion based. If i had cut back he would of ended up underweight for his height. He's not a strapping 6'2 at 14 without an ounce of fat on him. I would even consider putting a complaint on, advise like that isn't helping anyone.

After a few awful and some bizarre comments about DS2s weight from HV's I bought professional baby scales for DC3 and only weighed her at home.

An exclusively breast fed baby won't be over weight. They may look over weight on a chart, but nature will work itself out.

Cushings syndrome, congenital heart problems, hypothyroidism, pancreatic tumours can all cause rapid weight gain at this age. If a mum is overweight during pregnancy (sounds like you were?) too rapid weight gain of ebf babies can be genetic & a symptom of future obesity as obese kids always ‘front load’ their heights up to 5 and can be over 90th percentile for both until suddenly they aren’t.

The health visitor is absolutely doing the right thing in monitoring baby

They need to monitor because there's other reasons why weight gain is faster than normal, I ebf and they dropped percentiles not gained from their birth weights, it's enough to trigger monitoring. Could you imagine the furore if they did nothing, said all was good then 6 months down the line you were told all wasn't ok. Accept monitoring is a good thing

@Alee36

Of course it's possible that a baby does feed too much but it's rare are very hard to monitor without pumping. Try not to worry but let the health professionals monitor just in case

Another one in the 'ignore her' club.

You can opt out of her visits. I should.

As long as they are following their percentile and not fluctuating too much they are fine!

My daughter was on the 91st and never strayed until she was older, now she is 65th.

My son is on the 9th and is a concern because he dropped to the 2nd. But the concern is only due to the fact he dropped as opposed to being on the 9th!

You can't over feed a breastfed baby. What a load of bollocks from your HV.

You're right to be happy to be about the weight gain, it's better for them to have more than less. If she gets a virus she'll have weight to spare.

Ignore hv and just have a laugh about it. Promise to stop giving her pureed mars bars with her whiskey and cut her down to two cigars a day.

My girls 19 months and not even on a centile for height or weight anymore because how stunted her growth is. My niece at the same age is at the opposite end and off the scale for weight and height! Initially my niece was slow to grow and they recommended introducing formula and she went from dinky to a good build.

My sisters been told to drop snacks etc down and be cautious of what she’s eating. Fortnightly weight and height checks yet my girl is just being told she’ll catch up but try and increase her intake if possible.

My point in this being is it can be impossible to please!

God I love a chubby baby. No need for monitoring at all. I stopped HV after my 12 week appointments as there was absolutely no need for them.

Babies of overweight and obese mums have higher insulin resistance from the womb and so do feed more and are often genetically predisposed to obesity because of this. Monitoring is essential because often pediatricians just assume fat baby because of fat mum and don’t investigate for other causes when they should

Health professionals (especially HV) are obsessed with weight because it's a nice quantifiable metric that they can write down in their book and track. They are rubbish at considering the overall picture I. E. How the baby is fed, how they sleep, the bond with parents, other milestones etc. Because these are all more complicated to measure and change. Just ignore her, she sounds like an idiot. If it was me, and all was well, I wouldn't go back in a month but I'm a bit of a rebel.