A friend of ours died a couple of weeks ago. 3 weeks ago she was at her dad's funeral and read out a passage that was read out by her mum on Friday at her funeral.
My husband worked with her for 8 years. Just the 2 of them in a team , he hated her work ethic but out of work they were such good friends, because it was such a small team I spent a lot
Of our early married days spent socialising with him and her. The company closed down about 2 years ago and we moved to the opposite end of the country, but we still came over the original city to meet up with her and some other friends from the area we had. We probably saw each other 3 x a yr
We really stayed in touch, mainly the 2 of them but when we met up they made me feel so welcome and the 2 of us girls would catch up like nothing had ever happened and no time had passed.
She was in her 50s and I am in my 30s. I have the same kind of cancer it has hit me like a ton of bricks, like it's going to be me next.
I am angry that a peri / post menopausal woman had to fight for scans and tests to see what was causing the bleeding, she had a hysterectomy and one of the fibroids was actually sarcoma. Now Im a colorectal surgeon who only works with oncology patients. Sarcoma is such an utter bastard and it's rare to be found in the uterus or bowel but when it is it's so so important to do washings of the area and then consider chemo cells removed or not.
She wasn't offered chemo initially . They removed her woman and declared her cancer free. 10 months later she found out via a normal scan it was back, she was to start chemo but by that point it was stage 4 and it did work for 9 months she got the all clear and then she had a routine scan and it was back. Chemo to start on the Wednesday and an acute hospital admission on the Friday revealed no point to chemo and a transfer to the hospice the next day.
She knew I had the same cancer and told me to fight for chemo and fight for an open hysterectomy purely because the man handling on the uterus can (not always) release cancer cells when it's removed as it's not a closed system and sarcoma is a difficult cancer.
Her loss has hit me so hard. She really was the life and soul. She lived such a full a life and she deserved to do more. I feel like a fraud because she died and I am being offered chemo after the op and she wasn't. I saw people at the funeral that I just can't help thinking 'will we actually med up like we say we will or will you see my husband next at my funeral?' I feel guilty and angry, and sad and bereft that I'll never be able to text her again asking to go see Yorkshire v Leeds at the cricket and watch her implode when Lancashire win..
I'm just rambling now