I'm early 30s and come from a small family. I am close to both parents who are still alive thankfully
However I was very close to one set of grandparents growing up and saw them more than my own parents. My grandfather died a decade ago and my gran is likely to die within the month.
My beloved 20 year old pet died this year and last year my friend died from cancer. I lost a best friend in an accident when I was 18 and a cousin who died at 21. I'm also estranged from relatives due to a family fallout and find myself ruminating about all the lovely great uncles and aunts passed. All gone.
I have some cousins and an aunt/uncle who I'm visiting soon and great friends. I have a partner but no kids yet. Now I've started obsessed about my parents dying although they're young still! How can I stop ruminating about the past and missing people?