Abusive husband. Can I disappear?

[Mounjarjar]

That’s it really, married 4 years, independent money, need to run away in the night with no record. How do I cover myself?

Phone womens aid and make a proper, sensible escape plan.

Women's aid will be best placed to give advice on this, they will have done it all before and are really helpful

Sorry to hear this OP. Thankfully I've never been in this situation, but didn't want to read and run. Feel sure lots of ladies will be here soon to tell you how best to proceed. Take care and good luck.

Yes very recently been here (but with a child) call womens aid and ideally the police. They can give him an order protecting you for up to 28 days and you can also file for a non molestation order. Remember if he knows you're leaving then you are most at risk. Is it physical or emotional coercive control? Not because one is worse than the other - but help you to get your ducks in a row.
Have you got anywhere to live? Does he work? X

The best thing to do is contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline and ask about a refuge. The addresses of refuges are not public and you are not placed in your area so you would disappear overnight.

From there you have breathing space to organise renting a property and starting again.

As above. Seek good advice from those much more qualified than here but additionally, don't let him find out you're leaving as it makes it much more high risk. Also be extremely careful who (if anyone) you disclose your new location to. I wish you well with it all.

I’m making some presumptions but I presume he knows where you work, where your parents and siblings live? This is going to make disappearing totally, difficult.

seek advice from abuse charities and ensure he is not tracking your phone/car.

if you are sure he’s not and work remotely or can just walk out of your job I would literally leave whilst he’s a work taking the bare minimum and go abroad for a month, somewhere you have no connection to. Lie low whilst informing parents etc and then come back to a totally new location. You will need to file for divorce too

You can/will do it. As others have said contact the relevant agencies for support.

Check your phone (or get a new one) for tracking, and check your stuff/car for apple tags. If you have joint banking, or if he has access to yours, safeguard your transactions. Maybe open a new account, but that may not be an issue.

In my head I am trying to picture what the police do when someone goes missing, they check for various things they can track. Find out what they are and avoid them.

Rooting for you and hope you get away safely.

I think if you can, I'd go via the police. Its an ordeal but will give you some protection. Its very difficult to go off grid completely.
If he goes to work, take a day off work yourself. Use time before to mentally pack things important to you.
Don't forget documents - really important you take anything relating to your pension and personal items.
It's tempting to just fly out, but you will have further protection from the police and you never know, save another woman if they do a clares law request.
Do you think he will try and find you? Is he a stalker?
Please look through the apps on your phone and remove anything you don't recognise which isn't a system app - often tracking apps are listed differently.
Best of luck

Get in touch with Women’s Aid and use an Incognito tab so it doesn’t show in your history.

Good luck x

As previous posters have said, get advice from women's aid to help you make a plan. Good luck and take care of yourself lovely 💐

Do you have kids?

Women's aid, non molestation.

It's very very easy to find someone these days.

Women's aid will help you make a safe plan but if he goes out to work you might be better in the daytime. Put your essentials into storage and pack your paperwork medicines and enough clothes in a rucksack. Transfer half your joint account into your own account. As you're married seek legal advice too - do you own property?

Police would be good to inform that your are leaving, why and where youre going so that if he does report you missing, the police dont need to look for you and he cant use this to find out where you are. Additionally please report any abuse so they can also put measures in for you. Stay safe x

I'd advise women's aid and the police, too. You are most at risk at this point.

Do you have somewhere safe to go to? How hard do you think he'd search for you?