To wonder if you could be with someone who has different political beliefs to you?

[MyPithyTurtle]

I’m talking about things like Labour vs. Conservative, or vice versa. Obviously, I know people have different views, but could you be in a relationship where your political opinions are at opposite ends of the spectrum? Would it cause too much tension, or is it possible to have a healthy relationship despite the differences? What do you think?

Nah I don't think so, although it depends. Differing views on post-EU trade policies? Not an issue. Opposite ends of the spectrum on social issues? Probably a non-starter, because it probably means we have quite different values, and why would I be in a relationship with someone whose values weren't at least somewhat aligned with my own?

Voting differently, yes. I’ve voted for different parties in my time. But wouldn’t want to be romantically involved with a Tory or UKIPer.

That's OK to an extent with friends and acquaintances but not with a partner. I couldn't be with someone who voted Tory or Reform as it would be so opposed to my beliefs. I could cope with Green or Lib Dem. I couldn't even be friends with anyone who was racist or homophonic.

Depends on what the belief is.

Like PP I absolutely could not be friends with a person who thinks 'transwomen' are women. I also couldn't be friends with anyone who cont

But even though I'm extremely pro-life, I have many pro-choice friends.

I'm most likely not to be friends with someone who believes all the political propaganda they see/hear/read as they're usually insufferable and thick.

Depends what the values are, surely?

Differing views on the economy or how to manage immigration or green policy, fine.
If they legitimately thought, for example, gay people aren't entitled to the same rights as straight, (or a racism/disabled/other equivalent), then no.

If they thought the abortion term should be shortened and could back it up with fair reasons, fine. If they disagreed with abortion at all, I could only consider that as saying they legitimately believe women shouldn't have autonomy over their own bodies, and then, no, that's not something I could 'agree to disagree' about.

Ultimately relationships should be based on respect and I wouldn't be with someone I didn't respect.
Respect doesn't have to mean agreement, and I wouldn't expect to agree with a partner on everything.
But there are some opinions I don't think are worthy of respect in a modern/democratic society so no, I wouldn't want to be with someone who held them.

It depends on what the differences actually were really and how reasonable the other person was about them.

Some people have brought up the trans issue - someone being either a TRA or genuinely transphobic (for clarity - being GC does not mean you're transphobic!) would not sit well with me.

Someone who voted for other left-leaning parties? Yes. Someone who was right-wing? No. It's a completely different outlook on the world and there would be so much conflict and disagreement. It's about values and they need to be aligned in a successful relationship, especially if you are bringing up children together.

I have on occasion voted differently from my husband. Never been an issue, We are both center waverers though. I guess a die hard lefty and staunch conservative might struggle with different values in the long term.

I don't think so.... I feel like it informs so much about the way you view other people, we just wouldn't be compatible.

No, I couldn't personally. Most of my friends are the opposite political persuasion to me and I think it's good to not be in an echo chamber. However as a partner, I wanted my dh to be on the same page in our beliefs and values as I think it means we're united in how we raise our family. If I were not having kids though, or meeting someone later in life I think I'd be less bothered.

I should say though my husband has a strong Christian faith and it's very important in his life. I have an ethical code myself but I'm not religious.

I was always pretty solid Labour. DH was emphatically Tory. But our core values match. We both believe the State should protect the vulnerable. That people should have the freedom to live as they see fit as long as it does not harm others. We both agree that political discourse should be conducted respectfully - which is sorely missing right now. He voted for Brexit, me Remain. We are both anti racism. But we may disagree over what political party is the best for that. Over time (24 years) I think we have both moved the other closer to the Left/Right. Although we both certainly agree that the Tories were a shit show and this current Labour party will be worse. So I guess we have moved away from tribal politics and being a rusted on party supporter.

Politically homeless then I guess.

I think that sharing a life with someone who has very different values from you is generally a bad idea. That might be in terms of party politics, or attitudes to spending/saving, or division of household household labour, or how to raise and discipline children, or how involved you should be with your wider family, or whether it's more important to spend time at your job or with your kids, or even what table manners or hygiene standards are appropriate at home.

People can have similar values but end up supporting different parties because they want a similar ultimate outcome but would go about achieving that in different ways, and if they both think that the ultimate outcome is more important than how you get there, then those party politically differences aren't necessarily a big deal.

Political view yes no problem- extremists possibly not but more due to the kind of mindset that is extreme is likely to be unpleasant to live with - whether that is religious, conspiracy theorists, Activists etc the more extreme the less likely

😂 nice segue there

I couldn't be with someone with different values and I believe values are intrinsically linked to politics so no, I couldn't.

It doesn't mean I can't debate or accept difference, it doesn't mean I can't hear other perspectives and I have a range of friends with differing views.

But, to be in a committed, romantic relationship with someone could mean big decisions about children, education, money, health etc etc
I couldn't do all that with someone whose values and priorities did not align with mine.

Others can separate it but it's too closely linked for me.
I guess thinking about the last week and the conversations we've had and how upset we've both felt. I feel privileged that I have a life partner who values the same things as I do and sees my perspective even if they can't totally share it as a man.

Plus, I find people with certain views and values fundamentally unattractive.

I was with ExH for 22 years.

We had slightly different political views and occasionally voted for different parties.

We have both stood for the same political party (unsuccessfully, and at a very local level).

It wasn't a problem. We had reasonable conversations about politics and sometimes differed about which party we felt would be best at a given point in time.

In general we had similar views about what we wanted to see just slightly different views about getting there.

Hmmm, depends how different. I'm left-leaning but not as militant as many of my friends, and I have dated people further left than myself. I also doubt I'd have a problem with dating someone closer to the centre, maybe even centre-right. However, I don't think I'd be able to be in a relationship with anybody who is racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, anti-feminist or evangelical about religion, as I couldn't in good conscious date anyone whose beliefs fundamentally disrespect me and the people I love. I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who held those beliefs regardless of party politics, though they seem considerably more common amongst Reform supporters, and increasingly amongst Conservative supporters as well.

I could be with an intelligent and kind person who had different political views to mine but I couldn’t be with a racist or misogynist.

DH and I have different political views. We have been happily married for 18 years.
We have different views on many things.

DH is more right wing than me, but still only centre right, he's not a Farage fan. I'm more centre left. We do disagree and have debates on things but I think that's healthy. I couldn't be with anyone who supported Reform.

I couldn't be with someone who is extreme in their views, whether it concerns, politics, religion, or anything else.

Yes, I’m centrish left and I wouldn’t have a problem dating someone centrish right. It’s the extremes of either persuasion I’d struggle with - I’d be as wary of Corbynites as I would of the Farage and Tommy Robinson bootlickers. LibDem or Green I’d be fine with too. I think it’s extremism that puts me off. I’d be the same with people who have strong fundamentalist faith of whatever persuasion. I’d be happy enough for my DP to go to the church/synagogue/mosque etc. every now and again, but having to live your life in a restricted way to comply with someone else’s faith probably wouldn’t work too well for me.

No, I could be friendly with someone who held opposing views but not live with them. You need to be on the same page up to a point.

This. There are views about specific things that I couldn't tolerate, but frankly, mainstream centre to left end of Conservative and centre to right end of Labour... not exactly worlds apart!