Colleagues mocked me

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I never really think to bring anything back from holidays unless someone asks me specifically for something and some people did in previous jobs in work and some didn’t it wasn’t ever a big deal nor was it frowned upon. Is it proper eqtiquette to bring sweets back for colleagues? I got mocked for not doing so and it’s made me cause resentment and stubborn to not bring anything back. I got mocked at school and think it’s triggered me in some way. The jokes have went on for months. Am I being over sensitive?

I think if it were me I would whip round and say "enough of the begging for sweets Sarah, (or whatever the name is), if you want some just go to the shop and buy some" and carry on doing whatever I was doing.

Next time it is mentioned do a grey rock on it. Or I also find a Paddington hard stare goes a long way in situations like this.

I had the same thing, I refuse to by sweets, so when I got pestered be the 2 people who I liked the least, I just said to their face in front of my manager and his.manager, 'I don't see why I have to come back here to hear you whinging about sweets. Do you need me to pop to the shops and get you some jelly babies? Or shall we carry on with the work we are paid for?'
I'm a male and it was a predominantly male environment.. afterwards a few people agreed with me quietly. I despise both holiday and birthday you were expected to bring in stuff. I occasionally bought things in because I wanted to, I bought everyone ice-cream because our air con had failed.

Going on for months... they are a twat.

Paddington hard stare....I bet the rest of the office is bored with it as well.

So it is one person, who is either a nasty bully, or one of those tiresome people whose default mode of communication is teasing everyone, because they think they are being funny and witty.

If you think it has tipped over into bullying, speak to your manager.

If it is teasing, and they do it to everyone about all sorts of things, learn to give as good as you get.

It is pretty commonplace in workplaces to either bring in sweets/cakes/treats prior to going on holiday or bring "foreign" sweets back for the team. In my workplace it's cakes before going - I've always thought the thinking was to do with colleagues picking up slack when you were away, but not sure! It's not "mandatory" but a custom - folk flock round at tea-break for a cake, ask where you are going, tell you to have a nice time etc, etc. just a sociable thing. Some people never did it (but took a cake when others did) and it would be noticed at the time but not remarked on, certainly not kept going for any time. Certainly post covid it has dropped off a bit like all the other social aspects of work.

If there has been mockery about you not participating I honestly think it will be to do with the way you reacted initially - if you were OTT someone may be keeping it going to get a rise out of you. If I was you I would call them out on it. If that doesn't work bring it up with your boss - they should have a word if necessary to cut it off.

I remember that from working in the NHS. Disapproval when my 'holiday' (ie, staying at home with the kids instead of handing over an arm and a leg for five days' childcare because the holiday club decided to shut so the boss could go on holiday - with three weeks' notice at the beginning of August after I'd paid) didn't end with me bringing them twenty quid's worth of food. My internal narrative went something like;

Seriously, Carol, you're on £67,000 and the rest of the 'team' are consultants on over a hundred - as I full know from typing up their appraisal documentation so they could get more money. I'm on £14 grand and you begrudge every penny of that, so much so, you've told me to get real, I am never getting progression and you are going to refuse my request for secondment to a better paid job with prospects because 'We can't get anybody else for what we pay you'. So, respectfully, go fuck yourself.

I do think that if you happily eat the things that are brought in, you should occasionally bring in as well.

But I don't think it has to be from holiday, I'd just chuck a multipack of fun size chocolate bars or some sweets in the trolley next time I'm at the supermarket.

Or if you dont want to do that, stop eating whats brought in.

Pretty normal to bring something back for the office, but very strange for someone to still be going on about it.

Do you have form? Eat everyone else's birthday buns/holiday sweets etc and never bring anything yourself? That kind of stinginess does get noticed.

Let me play devil’s advocate. You have one idiot colleague. Everyone does. That you cannot seem to erase their voice from your head suggests that either

• this is verging on bullying and then you should do something about it more formally
• or that it is one person being an idiot but your childhood is making it loom larger.

I've been told that logic before, but you pick up their work when they are out as well. So it's not a favour.. ifit means you are up against the clock then that's because your team is under resourced.

I’ve brought in buns for a meeting before and other things just not from a holiday. I meant I eat things that other colleagues bring in too not just from holidays

I’ve brought in buns for a meeting before and got a card for someone’s birthday for everyone to sign and contributed to someone’s leaving gift. I’m not exactly stingey. If someone didn’t contribute I certainly wouldn’t make a song and dance about it.

I always do. Others don’t and no one thinks anything of it. It doesn’t matter.

I’ve brought stuff in before just not from a holiday

I never have, cheap airport sweets are sh!t and the same awful flavours where ever you fly and I don’t like my colleagues enough to splash out on the big bags of Cadbury minis 🤣

To add to my earlier comment upthread, I have been guilty of buying things from Lidl to share! I went to Crete one time and then Spain later in the year. It happened to be at the same time Lidl were doing Greek then Spanish week. I did bring some bits back, but bulked it out with the lidl specials which I'd unwrapped, put on a plate and hoped no one realised! 😬

Are you sure it's not just slagging? Is it good natured. Every office I've worked in has in jokes that would continue for months even years.

It's very strange for a whole office to take offence to this tiny transgression. If one person is just at it - it could be that they saw it bothered you the first time. And they enjoy getting a rise off you.

I am slagged endlessly about not offering to make other people tea. That's Molly - she wouldn't even make you a cup of tea....that kind of thing.

I think it's commonplace to bring back something but it's not at all commonplace to mock someone forever afterwards

They sound like dicks, op x

Yeah it’s slagging but the same joke over and over irritates me after a while. It wasn’t funny the first time and not funny the 10 other times.

Just bring something back for those who have not wound you up and for those who treat you with kindness......just tel the rest to sod off and to stop being greedy and entitled.

I had very critical mother and now I find criticism hard to handle. So either something similar is going on with you because of your school experience or else the person goes too far.

How do the others take it, I'd smile and move on either way.

The one that’s still whining on, I’d be tempted to press 50p into her hand and tell her to run along and buy herself some sweeties.

If you have communal sweets at work and take but never give I can understand a few sarcastic remarks but if your colleagues never supply holiday sweets they're being a bit mean.

Before WFH all my colleagues brought in big bags of airport sweets for the treat table.

I used to get this at work and like you, just one person complained that they weren't the right items. It was always that person.

I used to ignore them, to "rise above it" ... but looking back... so what if they complained? Its much easier to bring the odd cake in than spend time on holiday searching for something you can carry back from abroad.

Nowadays I'd be tempted to just tell them very sharply you are not employed to deliver confectionery to them and buy their own damn sweets.

It sounds like you are working with children