AIBU to be bothered about this from DH & MIL

[ML5]

DH nieces birthday on Weds and when it was our children’s birthdays his brother always gives it to them 2 weeks late. DH went round today and he said he signed a card that his mum bought from the both of us for his niece & his mum will give money from us which my husband will pay her back for. AIBU to be annoyed by this that our children got their birthday gifts late by 2 weeks or is DH being unreasonable to of signed the card for his niece that his mum got

Was your DH going to have time to get the card and a present for his niece ? If not then he took the easy option of going with what his mum suggested as it saved him the bother.

Or did you think you should be "punishing" a kid because their own parents weren't organised

If it bothers you speak to your BIL instead of attempting tit for tat at your nieces expense.

No he would not of had the time however what is annoying is that his brother always gives our children their birthday gifts 2 weeks late and MIL probably don’t even suggest it to him to get card gift for our ones if that makes sense

The absolute pettiness of this is astounding. Why didn’t he just leave the money when he was signing the card or transfer to his Mum
if he didn’t have cash?
You would still gave to get a pressie in 2 weeks anyway and now you don’t have to bother. You are being ridiculous.

What are you really bothered about? Because it's not the card.

Is it that you feel brother isn't bothered about your kids?

Is it that you feel mil prefers bil/his kids?

I ask, because I really couldn't get her up about this situation on the face of it.

It’s not for me to speak to my BIL but it don’t bother my DH maybe I am being unreasonable thinking MIL is involving herself when we was going to get her something anyway

Imagine wanting to punish a child because of their parents actions.

This all sounds petty just talk to bil if it happens to bother you

Petty and immature.

I understand. There would be hell to pay if I sent my siblings card/present late yet I never received either for one birthday and was told to accept it as “that’s what she’s like”. This year she can wait til Christmas for her late October birthday as my present this year was two months late and my mother’s not in a condition to complain about it.

So were you planning to get the niece a gift and purposely give it two weeks late?

Ah I get it now. Its a MIL thing. She is making sure DH gets his niece something on time but didn't do the same for your kids and his brother. Annoying yes but perhaps because she saw how annoyed you were she was trying to make sure other DIL didn't have to put up with the same.

You have contradicted yourself by saying DH wouldn't have time but then saying you were going to get something. I think you were but just late. But I think if you had it would have been water off a duck's back and they wouldn't even realise you were doing it to punish them.

Should I mention to my MIL about the present or leave it as most likely my MIL would say as you are both working and her birthday is Wednesday I wanted to help you both out

I get where you’re coming from, but life really is too short. Just shrug it off. Does it really matter?

I may be missing the point here, but as you and your husband are married then she is your niece too so why aren’t you and your husband, as a unit, getting your niece a card and present ? I wouldn’t expect my mother or MIL to get my nieces (whether blood or by marriage) cards and presents from my husband and me.
I’m even more confused as to why your MIL has to do the admin for you and your husband but not your husband’s brother, but then, as I said, I might be missing the point here.

She could have asked if you needed any help

You're both adults and it's up to you what you spend and what the present is

Just think his brother isn’t bothered too much about our kids and MIL is worried about what they would say as niece is quite outspoken

Complain to your DH and get him to ask his mum about if she offered the same to BIL, and point out the obvious asymmetry of treatment.

I actually did this and told him to point out the unfairness of it all to his mum

Sounds like you’re all disorganised about gift buying so perhaps agree to not do cards/ grifts going forward

All sounds a bit petty. I get the presents of your kids are late and it annoys you, but really sounds so petty that you think MIL shouldn't get involved with the cards. She's just trying to help out.
Maybe she has offered to do it the other way round and she's been told no? Maybe she has tried to get cards etc on time to you, on the BILs behalf and he's categorically said no. Just as your husband could have done. But your husband didn't, he clearly thought it was an easy situation all round and the cards and money are just done with. One less hassle for him (and/or you?) I imagine . Just another job ticked off the list.