To just be sad and mopey today?

[Solsis]

I’m 25, I have a 1 year old little boy who I would move mountains for and his dad and I split last month and while I believe that’s for the best I’m not in a great place.
Before I met my sons dad I was with my first boyfriend, we’d only been apart for 8 weeks when I went full in with the guy who would go on to be my sons dad. This was 4 years ago. We broke up as he finished his masters and wanted to move to London but I was close to my family so never would. I truly loved him, I think more than I ever loved my sons dad but I never processed the break up, I just moved on.

Last night I was scrolling socials and I came across a TikTok of my ex and his girlfriend doing a silly little dance together. Her account and I don’t follow so it was just a massive coincidence.
If was literally just a silly dance but half way through he stopped doing it and just looked at her, it was that look of pure adoration, I don’t remember him ever looking at me like that. I scrolled her TikTok a little, which only made me feel worse. I’ve blocked her now but I feel like the part of the video where he just stops at looks at her is seared into my brain, I keep replaying it.
I told my friend and she said it’s pointless mopping, we picked our paths and I should be happy he is happy. I think because I haven’t found someone I love as much as I loved him. I find it hard to process he has found someone who’s gorgeous and he probably loves more.
AIBU to just be sad and mopey about it today? Would this hurt you too or am I crazy?

Yes seeing that would be upsetting. I’m sure you wish you could rewind and not watch it. But you’re friend is right, moping is only going to make you feel worse or at least prolong feeling sad.

Get busy with something to take your mind off it and keep doing that until it fades. And never, never, never look up old flames again. It’s rarely a happy experience. But you know that now 😬

Aw I feel for you op, I've felt hurt like this too although a different situation with an ex. Have your day of moping then tomorrow you must try and forget and move on. it's hard, it's good that you've blocked and please try and resist the temptation to look them up again. it will get easier 💐

I’m grieving my Dad’s death, so I’ve picked up some info about grief recently which I didn’t know previously and it might help you.

Sometimes we focus on a more minor grief in order to protect ourselves from a more significant grief as it feels, to our subconscious mind, easier to bear than the bigger one.

So I think go with it today, but maybe open your mind to the idea that maybe you’re over-blowing this old breakup in order to not feel the effect of breaking up with the father of your child.

i know you said you didn’t love him as much as your first boyfriend, but he’s your boy’s dad and I’m sure there’s a lot of emotion wrapped up in that for you.

No, that would be a punch in the gut OP for sure. Youre right though to think its more about you not having that at the moment than about that particular guy having it with someone else. But remember his happiness and relationship doesn't make your own life any worse, so try to see it rationally as you can. You need to train your brain not to dwell on that image. So everytime it intrudes, replace it with a positive image from your own life, your child laughing for example. It takes practise but it works.