Ex won't find a compromise on our child's birthday?

[roxyboo]

I recently left my ex partner after multiple issues and I feel a lot happier for doing it as he made my life miserable.

Our child's birthday is coming up and as I live in house (he lives in a flat) we are having a small party at mine.

He wants to invite his brother who I really dislike and do not get on with at all.

I have recently moved house and really don't want him having my address as he is a shady character.

He really isn't someone I want any of my kids around to be honest, he treats women appallingly, he is a liar, and has an extensive criminal background.

Most of my ex's other family members are attending, and I think I am even being generous to even have them in my house considering how my ex treated me (verbally and emotionally abusive) and I have told him it's my house and I don't care if your brother is offended as he has excluded me for years.

My ex just keeps trying to make me feel bad about this, it's like even not we have split I am still getting stress as if we are still a couple.

Surely I'm not being unreasonable?

For this year I wouldn't have a ‘family’ party at all and certainly not at home.

Cancel it otherwise this will be expected every year.

I would have a small gathering, out somewhere, with a couple of mum friends and their little ones. That way, no family at all.

Next year make it clear in plenty of time that parties are separate. Dad can arrange what he wants and invite who he wants, at his. ( as can you at yours).

He can't dictate that the party is at yours and who you allow in your house. Tell him who is on the guest list and if he doesn't like it he is free to arrange separate birthday celebrations for his side of the family.

My ex was never invited into my home for special occasions. He was always welcome to have the DC as much as he wanted to hold his own celebrations but strangely enough, when the effort had to be made by him it never happened.

Why on earth are you having a joint party with his family. Just separate parties. Birthdays are just a day. Parties can happen any day.