Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if any of you figured out you weren't straight as an adult and if you have any advice?

5 replies

567g · 10/11/2024 00:40

AIBU to ask if any of you realised you were gay or bisexual as an adult and, if so, how you found the process and what made you figure it out?

I'm 30, and always just presumed I was straight. I have never, for even one second, contemplated that I was anything but 100% straight. Never put any thought into to it, it was just the default. However, lately I have been questioning my sexuality. It started with seeing a lesbian couple on a TV show and something just clicked. I think I have been so in denial, I don't know how I have managed to hide this part of myself from myself for so long?

I feel like I have to 'think' my way into being attracted to men. I have no male celebrity crushes. I only seem to fancy men once I know their personalities and it's more about how they make me feel - cared for, listened to, etc. On the other hand I could easily list 10 female celebrity crushes - I thought it was normal to have 'girl crushes' and would tell myself I just thought they were pretty and I wanted to look/be like them.

None of this is freaking me out. I would have thought it would have sent me spiralling but, I actually just feel relieved and excited, knowing I don't 'need' to be with men and that's a whole different life I could have that I never even thought of as an option.

OP posts:
TwattyMcFuckFace · 10/11/2024 00:45

I think I have been so in denial, I don't know how I have managed to hide this part of myself from myself for so long?

You probably haven't hidden it, your preferences have probably just changed.

Achillo · 10/11/2024 00:49

Yes have had the same experience almost word for word.
Have only fallen for a couple of guys because of their minds. I was always mystified why people were attracted to the male physique, but it never occurred to me why. The male chest to me seems like putting up a bare Christmas tree!
I only realized after an extended hospital stay when I realised how lovely some of the staff were. Then it all fell into place!
I don't know why it took so long. Conditioning or just being too busy to give much time to love.
Wishing you lots of happiness on the next phase of the discovery!

Shitwhathaveidone · 10/11/2024 19:24

I’m also questioning things, it’s really
confused me having this revelation! I’m married though 😬

ScaryGrotbag · 10/11/2024 19:26

Search for late bloomers lounge on Facebook. It has a wealth of information and supportive members. Yes, I'm even older than you and very much questioning.

EmBear91 · 10/11/2024 19:26

Yep! I thought I was completely straight until I was 25 - I met a woman through work & it was love at first sight & things just went from there. I’m bisexual, still attracted to men but I’m in my 30’s now & happily married to a woman :)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread