Worried school is too much for DS

[ConfusedMummy12]

What's a normal amount of disregulation for a child who has just started school?

Son (5) is very whiny and short tempered at weekends, loses his temper easily and hits and has started talking in his sleep...and it's really different to before. He had his whiny days but not like this...and he's never hit. I'm getting worried school is too much for him. Or is this normal?
And how can I help him through it?

What age is he?

Very normal. Dd reverted to toddler tantrums when she started school and apparently I was foul to my little sister when I got home from school.

Normal tiredness. I can't remember how long it took dd to get over it but children vary anyway.

Totally normal

5

Yeh they seem very much like toddler tantrums! And he either didn't have them to this intensity as a toddler or I've forgotten 🙈 Reassuring to know it's normal

It sounds fairly normal. It's a long term through to Christmas, everything is new, they try so hard to behave at school that by the time they get home it's as if they have 'run out' of concentration and focus. And they are shattered.

May be worth checking with his teacher that everything seems ok at school. Aside from that I would try to keep things pretty low-key at home. Lots of sleep, plenty of fresh air at weekends, good food, not too many activities/late nights etc.

Agree with cutting down after school activities. Dd started ballet and tap as a toddler and loved it but we had to stop when she started school because it was on a Friday and she was completely knackered by then.

Yeh good idea to check in with the teacher.
He doesn't do any after school activities and is in bed by 630pm, so I don't think we can adjust anything on a weekday. I think a lot of it is him grieving the long days we used to have together

If your child only started school in September, then this is perfectly normal. They get tired, cranky and whinny. They are adapting to a new routine, longer days and learning (even if most of it is through play). This next half-term until Christmas, is a hard one too because they have lots of Christmas themed events going on at school, they start getting excited especially from the beginning of December and then the tiredness kicks in again. Go with it for now, I promise you it does get better!

Yeh just started in September...good to know it's normal! I think I was expecting the after school disregulation but not the weekends, and for some reason not the hitting

My little boy started school in September and we have had similar - been telling myself it's normal! He's a summer born so not long 4 when he started which I'm sure doesn't help. We've had it all from whining to tantrums to 30 minute screaming meltdowns. He's always been quite an explosive character, but this is a different level! He hasn't really hit me at all, but has whacked his big sister (who he absolutely adores!) a few times so having to watch him like a hawk around her. He had another phase around when he turned 3 of doing this, but hadn't had any problems for a year or so. It definitely calmed down a lot over half term and first week back so far was alright, but assuming things will be tricky again over this long build up to Christmas.

Thing is he is coping amazingly with school for a shy little summer born so I guess he needs to let it all out at some point. It's exhausting for us and I feel constantly on edge, especially trying to make sure he doesn't hit my older daughter.

So no advice really, but you're not alone! And I do think it's to be expected, I don't think it necessarily means he's not coping. He just needs a little longer to get used to it.