It’s 9:30pm and my 6 year old still isn’t asleep!

[Cheeseandpicklecob]

This is most nights nowadays. It doesn’t even matter if he’s been to school or not, it doesn’t matter if he’s been active in the day (swimming and scooter today). He just can’t switch off.
We have a bedtime ‘routine’ of bath, story and then tonie box. He likes one of us to lay next to him while he goes to sleep, which means we take it in turns to not have any sort of an evening.

He’ll be up again tomorrow at 6:30/7am like every morning - it’s relentless.

I think he might have ADHD and possibly ASD as he’s on the SEN register at school, but we haven’t yet pursued a diagnosis , however I think we might need to now.
He talks non stop from the moment he wakes up, until bedtime.
We limit screens, he hardly uses them. He watches some TV but again, it’s limited.

I don’t know what else we can do - it’s so frustrating and exhausting. I’m ready for bed now and will definitely be going within the next hour, so me and DH don’t get any time together at all.

Some adhd kids actually need evening exercise and not a wind down. And yes iv been the crazy women walking their kid around the block with a torch before bed.

😄 I'd be open to trying this, although I hate going out at night

She's babbling to herself about a tea party 🙄🤭

Right here with you - we are on the third round of the same audiobook she insists is the only thing she can fall asleep to.

I would say fuck it and let her be, but the spectre of tomorrow morning looms…

That’s not a usual bed time for most 6yr olds. I’ve had three 6yr olds and they and all their friends were in bed by 8 latest. ADHD or ASD aside, kids need a ton of sleep. My 6yr old was asleep before 8 tonight. Last night we went to fireworks and he fell asleep in the car on the way home at 8.

ooops quoted wrong person, meant to be a reply to the poster who said it wasn’t a late bedtime for a 6yr old. Sorry.

Oh God, how are you staying sane 😩

I know, all I can think of is that awful feeling of waking to do the school run 😞

What time are you trying to get him to sleep, OP?

Lots of people on Mumsnet have children who get very tired and need loads of sleep. My son and most of the children I know aren't like that. 9 or 9:30 wouldn't be an unusual bedtime, and furthermore trying to get them to sleep too early means they stay awake for hours.

my recently turned 5 yr old is circling 10 pm just now. Shes always been late to bed, and it doesn’t seem to affect her from what i can see. She sleeps around 10h per night and has been that way since babydom 😬

My godson is like this he's 13 and would lay awake until sometimes midnight awake bright as a button by 6.30. My friend was struggling. He's got a diagnosis of ADHD and on melatonin which did help with him settling earlier at night but it's wore off so they've had to up the dosage for him and it's helped. Still wakes up early. My daughters 11 and some times she's asleep soon as her head hits the pillow other nights she's about half an hour if tossing turning and needing a pee. She's a grumpy bugger if she doesn't get a good sleep. She's always needed 11/12 hours school nights she gets 9/10 hours. If he's happy to lay in bed just leave him too it. Xxx

My 10 year old was exactly like this, just got an autism diagnosis

He has something where he doesn't recognise body translations or something so doesn't recognise being hungry, tired, thirsty, pain needing the bathroom etc

It's a strange one to me

All dc need different amounts of sleep, books, drs etc will tell you what the average child needs but in real life it differs. I had one dc that needed about 9.5 hours tops by 6 years so going to sleep at 10 was normal for her, her dsis needed a lot more so would be asleep by 8/8.30 at latest. Same family, same routine

I have the same some as you op! Only mine is 3!! 😩 was hoping it would get better

Same son**

He might just not produce as much melatonin and need to supplement. Unfortunately it needs to be done via paediatrician. My son is autistic and without it he wouldn't sleep until 11/12. He is 5

I would work on leaving him to listen to an audiobook, or sitting with him (but not using a phone). One or the other. I don't think it will be helping him to sit there on your phone.

Oh, mums, I've given up!

She went to sleep so I got up and went to the loo. As soon as my cheeks hit the seat, she strolls past and goes into my room and starts searching for snacks

Now we're in my bed together

She has asd so I do think it impacts her sleep. If I put her in bed too early, she will definitely wake up during the night and start playing, so I make sure to put her to bed a bit later

If I don't sit with her, she will just get up, no matter how many times I put her in bed

Sigh

Sorry, just needed a rant

@MumOfOneAllAlone dd also ASD, definitely a common theme for nd children. Firm believer that whatever maximises sleep for the family is the best way forward - sometimes that means midnight stories and cosleeping.

I've had the same thing here. My DS needs a very high level of physical activity to be normal. He does lots of active things but what helped most was walking the dog late - at 7pm or so. Just a short walk but the blast of fresh air seemed to help.

Also, even if you need to set up some kind of reward system, get him going to sleep on his own. Let him read or play LEGO or listen to his tonie but don't stay up with him, it's absolutely miserable. It was such a game changer when I started holding that boundary.

I truly believe my DS is wired for less sleep. 9.30pm isn't too bad at all.

My almost 5 year old is an unpredictable sleeper. Takes ages to fall asleep and due to intense separation anxiety "just leaving him to it" isn't an option.

He's often up until 10pm. Sometimes later, sometimes earlier... The other week he fell asleep at 9pm, then woke for the day at 2.30am. Went to school where he was absolutely fine (teacher was aware and kept an eye on him, confirmed absolutely no issues) Fell asleep at 9pm that night.

@Cheeseandpicklecob i don’t think it’s that late - but agree with you it’s not ideal. I’m not convinced it’s anything to do with SEN or any other potential diagnosis. I think often kids struggle to go to bed because well life is exciting and they’re growing up and changing day to day. My nearly 3yo goes through very varied phases - always same routine since birth really! - asleep at 7:30 no issues at all, three months later will do a week of 11pm hellish bedtimes! Just stick with your routine & try to relax. I’d stop giving up your evenings because that’s crappy for you. There’s a Beatrix potter audiobook collection on audible that my son really enjoys. I leave it on for a story or two sometimes. There’s also quite a lot of relaxing sleep stories on audible for children! Might help. Forget what your friends are saying - they’re prob lying somewhat and everyone’s sleep is different. Good luck xx

Thank you, me too 🥺

I'd taken to letting her fall asleep next to me in my bed, as bedtime in her bed was just taking too long

But I thought, I'd better get her back into the routine again

I made this rod for my own back by rocking her to sleep until aged 3, I'll be honest. I wanted the closeness as she's my only child.

That, plus her autism, means it's just a nightmare now

My son is 6. No neurodivergence. He simply doesn't need much sleep. He has always been like this. If you try to force him to go to bed you are in for hours of frustration. If we wait until he is tired he will go to bed quickly and easily. Usually sleeps for 10h.