To wonder if I'm being pedantic RE his response to long distance phone call?

[JennaRink]

I'm in a long distance relationship where we usually see each other multiple times a month.

Now we aren't seeing each other for longer than usual and then he will stay with me for a longer period. This is because he is starting an intense new job.

Today I asked if we can talk on the phone tomorrow and he replies:

'Yeah, but it needs to be 4 o'clock or after 7 o'clock.' No context given.

In the past when it has been this specific, he has ended up being so busy that the call doesn't happen or happens much later than we agreed. Would you find it annoying to be given these time slots without context? I have no idea what his plans are otherwise.

He's told you when he's available. What's unreasonable?

I'd find this really useful!

Um, if you want context, ask for it?

I don't think his response is unusual.

No

Why did you not just ask?

Maybe it's his way of saying it.

Whenever I want to chat he also says it 'needs' to be at a certain time. Gone is the lovey dovey can't wait to hear your voice stuff!

In the past he's given me time slots like this because he thinks he can fit in a phone call with me when he's actually too busy. Its happened twice before and always lead to a fight when the call doesn't happen.

so he is ' busy ' until 7pm - so what !
it is none of your business, you are not married to him ( nor his employer who he may be accountable for his time during a working week )
he is not accountable to you, the two of you are dating. full stop.

Fair point!

i don’t know this chap

but i worry for him!!

what is “long distance”?

oh

Just read your multiple threads about this relationship that sounds as though it’s been rotting for some time now

Its a bit curt for someone you're in a relationship with, I can see why it's annoying although I'm not sure where being pedantic comes in

You fight with him when he doesn't call on time? Have a word with yourself.

Ask him what he’s got going on and pick a time.

I fight with him when he doesn't call full stop.

So it will be 'i can talk at 3 or 8.'

Then it's 'ok definitely 8', then sorry can we do it tomorrow. I feel it in my bones!

I think this. Its curt.

I said Id love to hear your voice and that was his reply. I think he's never going to be the soppy sweet type.

You've had lots of threads about this relationship, it sounds doomed tbh.

Still nothing to fight about.

You’ve posted multiple threads about this guy, and it’s generally that he’s a bit short and you don’t like the way he messages you.

Honestly it sounds like his style isn’t what you want. People rarely change, so you need to figure out whether you can accept it or not.

He is telling you when he will be free. I can't see a problem to be honest. And sometimes things happen and you aren't free when you thought you would be.

Sometimes I think it would be fascinating to transport "the youth of today", to borrow a phrase, back to the 70s with a choice of the phonebox at the end of the road for privacy, or the telephone table in the hall for warmth! 😁

Drop the ball. Do not initiate the phone calls. Let him do the work. If he doesn't- you've got your answer

@dontcryformeargentina thanks.

We were meant to chat half an hour ago and he didn't pick up, twice.

I am definitely going to focus on myself the rest of the day and if he calls he calls. I'm not happy about having an arrangement and him not picking up.

It sounds like an awful lot of pressure on a phone call. I am stressed just reading your posts!

@TulipCat the thing with long distance is that phone calls matter more because you're not seeing each other. In particular this month we are seeing less of each other than usual.

So yes. It bothers me. I want him to keep his word barring some emergency.

ah but

you posted at 16.11 saying the phone call was due half an hour ago

it wasn't, it was due 11 mins before

so now you wait until after 7pm and after, as you wrote initially