I'm finding the dark days and nights so difficult. What can I do?

[FlippertyFlopperty]

Just that really. It's having a massive effect on my mental health and I'm feeling very much like I can't cope. Life seems so bleak. Any tips to help me get through to spring?

I have difficulty sleeping in winter, as though my body doesn't know which part of the day is for sleep and which for being awake. But to find your SAD lamp causes it must be a real kick in the teeth!
I find mine irritating and I don't think it improves anything but at least it doesn't seem to make anything worse.

It might seem silly but I got some fancy LED light strips that do multiple colours that I can control from my phone and draped them around the living room as well as some lamps with fancy smart bulbs.

I then set them all to random crazy colours and have them slowly morph and rotate though colours all night. The room feels so bright and colourful it really helps my mood.

The lights also can be controlled remotely and set up to automatically come on just before you are due to arrive home so you are walking into a colourful wonderland instead of a dark house. I also have the heating come on too so it's nice and warm.

'Thrush' baths (baths with loads of bath bombs, essential oils, bubbles etc). Hopefully you don't actually get thrush, I read it in a Stacey Solomon book and really love fancy baths. It needs a better name though!

I would second a lumie lamp alarm clock. I've had one for years and waking to gentle light simulating sunlight, rather than a loud alarm in the dark.

Getting outside in the natural daylight - the light levels inside are often a fraction of those outside. It helps reset your body clock and your mood. Vit D supplements from October to March. Planning in activities you enjoy, socialising, exercise/activity etc. all known mood boosters. Making your home cosy and inviting, blankets, candles, lights. I say this as someone who's had a rubbish year and wants to ward off mental health issues going into the winter time.

I was just about to say this. I got mine for £8 on vinted. It’s the basic model. No radio etc but that’s fine.

In the evenings I’ve got timers on so DC don’t come home to a dark house & nor do I (DH wouldn’t think to turn lamps on and nor would DC). I’ve also draped warm white fairy lights round the front garden - again on a timer. Our house looks so welcoming compared to my neighbours now.

As well as lamps on timers I’ve got an oil burner which I burn each evening and some candles too - mostly unscented but they create a lovely feeling.

We can’t avoid the dark but we can embrace it I guess.

Thrush baths 😂I live very far north and these things help me: SAD lamps (provided by occupational health at work), double dose Vitamin D, whatever form of exercise gets your endorphins going, get out every day it’s not raining sideways, cleaning/tidying/sorting is good for the days it is raining sideways, embrace the dark nights - tv, board games, Lego. I also follow Sejsejlija on Instagram, she lives on Svalbard and they have three months of complete darkness so it makes me grateful for the daylight we do get!

I’m the same as you. I get outside every day, multiple times, the dog gets far more walks this time of year.

Candles and led tea lights. I bought a mini pre-lit Christmas tree for the bedroom. Dh did the world’s biggest eye roll when I put it up last month, but now he admits it’s needed in the mornings when we get up in the dark.

Posh tea in nice teapots.

Indoor bulbs. Lovely to see something grow green shoots at this time of year.

I'm not complaining. I'm simply asking for help because I'm finding things difficult. That's why I'm asking for tips.

I’m finding these ideas helpful. Thanks for the thread OP. No idea where the hostile responses are coming from.

Thank you for your suggestions everyone. I've been looking at lumia lamps. Candles and luxurious baths are a great idea.

Vit d supplement helps me

Oh and I have been to the doctors about depression as a starting point so I am trying to help myself, thank you very much. You sound like an unpleasant person. Dark days and nights getting to you too?

I have some vitamin d actually. I'll go and find it and remember to take it. Thank you @stewfordinner 😊

Fuck me, I'm harsh but you definately take the biscuit. OP is obviously struggling and asking for suggestions which he/she will probably try. God forbid anyone asks you to pee on them if they're on fire!

@MrsLangOnionsMcWeetabix Sejsejlija has some YouTube videos about how to survive dark, winter days - v helpful (didn't need the advice about taking a rifle in case you meet a polar bear, though 😉).

I think having a plan and feeling you're proactive going into winter and dark days is helpful too. So you have some control rather than it just happening to you. I literally put going for walks and socialising onto my Google calendar which has reminders on my phone.

@FlippertyFlopperty it might be worth asking your GP for a blood test for vit D - both dds had v low vit D and were prescribed v high dose vit D ampoules. Low magnesium/iron can also cause low mood and anxiety, so also worth checking. Eating nourishing foods generally helps in the cold weather, soups, stews, tea all warming and cheering.

Oh bless you OP, you’re not even biting back!
Dont worry, nobody else seems to mind you asking x

I actually love the darkness, the cold, gloomy, wet, what some call miserable weather. Yes I'm an unpleasant person.

I just don't understand why you've not tried the hundreds of suggestions mentioned in the hundreds of threads posted about this exact topic every year since Mumsnet has existed. I understand seasonal depression makes you lazy but you're already typing on your phone, to make a new thread is actually more work than searching for any of the previous threads which have pages and pages of advice/tips.

I usually book a weekend in the Sun in late Sept so see me through the winter. Aside from that I kind of surrender to it and enjoy lighting the fire, candles and watching rubbish on the TV!

I also wanted to add that increasing my iron levels and vit D did wonders for my mood and energy levels. Taking strong iron tablets had the same effect on me as taking anti depressants years ago! (I’m not on them anymore)
Dont listen to the GP if they say your ferritin is fine because it’s above 30. It needs to be at about 100

I'm going to take that as a complement

What a truly shitty thing to say. Have some empathy.

Lean into the hygge aspect! Whenever you're at home make it as cosy and lovely as possible. Think of it as the season of hibernation and extra self-care. Take magnesium to help you absorb the vitamin D. Get sunlight as much as you can.

OP could you even use this thread as a ‘support through the winter’ thread if you’re so inclined?

Take Vitamin D, ideally needs D3 which the one you get from sunlight. This boosts your MH and immune system.

Increase eating more fruit n veg and anything else with high oxidants.

Listen to meditation and positive mindfulness podcasts

Keep active - doesn't just mean walking. Doing some YT video work outs.

Wear positive bright colours

This thread is obviously bothering you so why are you on it? You really are a tedious, rather shitty person aren't you? I started the thread because I want to help myself. Of the thread helps other people too, then great.

I can start a thread on whatever I like.

Other posters are being really helpful.