To bail on a concert with friends, because I’m scared of an attack…

[Sophie2525]

I’m due to attend a concert tomorrow in Birmingham NEC, and I’m so anxious, I always think the worse that someone is going to start trying to kill us all, and I have a young child.
I feel guilty for going and putting myself in a position that something bad could happen.
I know you shouldn’t live your like this, but then I think is it worth taking the risk?

Says who?

This thread was started on the same day the 2017 arena bombing was back in the news.

Don't let this dictate your decisions@Sophie2525

Go and enjoy :-)

I felt the same about a concert that I went to couple of months ago. It was days after the Taylor Swift one got cancelled due to potential terrorist attack.
I was very nervous about going and I have young children too. But I did go and I’m really glad I did. There was loads of security and I wasn’t anxious at all. I would have felt rubbish the next day when my friends were talking about how good it was.
Maybe leave slightly early so you can avoid the crowds coming out if it makes you feel a bit better.

With anxiety, sometimes we choose behaviours to avoid discomfort, eg not go to the concert. That feels comfortable in the short term, but long term our world can shrink. Hard to do, but important not to avoid things. Good luck.

To get into the arena you have to go through security which involves going through a metal detector and all bags are searched.

Whilst safety cannot be guaranteed this is no different to normal life activities and you could argue that it is safer due to the security.

Do what feels right for you but please speak to someone as it can't be good to go through life feeling anxious like this.

I work in the events industry. I cannot tell you how much multi agency work goes into every event. Honestly, people would never guess how much we do. You will likely be safer in the venue than in others aspects of your life x

Yabu.

I understand how you feel because I'm exactly the same, I know it's highly unlikely and I'm more at risk on the journey there but the threat of a terrorist attack still rates higher in my mind than a car accident.

Having said that I took my daughter to see Taylor Swift at Wembley this year just after the Vienna concert was cancelled due to a threat, I was terrified of the train journey there, scared of the tube, scared of the crowds and on alert.
However it was the most amazing day and experience I've ever had at a concert and I'd do it again tomorrow.

If I'd let my anxiety decide not to go then I'd have missed out.

The night before I Googled tips on controlling anxiety in situations like that such as focusing on breathing or staring at a spot on the floor to give your mind a few moments to reset and it really helped a few times on the day when I could feel myself spiralling.

You should definitely go.

YABU and actually doing a disservice to your children with this irrational anxiety.

I don't know if this makes you feel any better but the NEC is a private managed estate, not a city centre location like the Manchester Arena. Therefore the whole immediate area is much more closely managed before you even step inside.

I went through a period of exactly this.
Young children relying on you do weird things to your risk appetite. And when I say ‘risk’ I literally mean getting off your sofa !
It was motorways for me. A horrible accident was waiting for me so I use to go the backroads for miles 😂😂

Everything is unpredictable in life - for example you could choose not to go and as a result of that decision, something else happens to you. So you may as well choose what you want to do, block out the what ifs and enjoy your life hoping for the best. I do understand as I had similar worries before a big concert but I didn't let my fear win and had a brilliant time.

I think you need to go to your GP. This is not normal.

I never liked manchester arena too. Its very claustrophobic i hate lifts the seating on a steep incline. And that was years before the Ariana Grande concert.

I only went once to a military tattoo it was boring anyway.

I prefer the apollo its much nicer.

I think everyone has these random intrusive thoughts, particularly when you have young children. I was convinced I was going to die in a fire on the London underground. I live in N Yorkshire, so its not like I was going to take a toddler to London,but I was utterly convinced.

You are more likely to have an accident at home or be harmed by someone you know

Since the MEN attack (which was where I'd attended many concerts since 2003 at the age of 13) I was frightened when I heard about it. Two days later I was on my way to London to go to a signing of my favourite band, my DSIS came with me and she was white as a sheet with panic. By 2019 I was 2nd row to the front of the barrier at a sold out concert in Berlin which held over 70,000 people. Then 2 weeks later in Milton Keynes 1st row at the barrier, also sold out, which held over 30,000. The MEN attack really struck me, having spent so much time in there and also where the bomb was set off waiting for my parents to come and pick me up. You can't live in fear, you can't deny yourself the joy of attending concerts which you will love and remember for the rest of your life.

I've done loads of arenas and security is very tight these days- admit I was a bit anxious at the first time at Manchester after the attack - just at the moment does not cross my mind these days and every venue I'm reassured - the screening is more like airport security. Please go and have a great time.

I voted NU because I am exactly the same and can completely empathise.
There was a time I would fear a shopping centre because I couldn’t think of a way of keeping me and my two year old safe if something happened.
I hate the way my brain works and I wish it was different.
It’s completely your choice. As an outsider looking in, you are probably going to regret not going and having a great night. On the other hand, I understand the fear and sometimes you’ve got to do what you feel comfortable doing.
Not helpful but wanted to empathise x

Just go, I can understand your anxiety but it is probably out of proportion to the event, and once you start down this line, you will end up nervous about everything, and 99.99% of things come off OK and you will enjoy yourself, security is better than ever, and if something goes wrong, you end up just doing what you do at the time anyway. I was caught in the aftermath of the London bombings of 2005 at Edgware Road, not injured, not really anything, other than the mass confusion, I was 8 months pregnant, and I must admit I had a bit of a "god if I had been there 10 minutes earlier moment" but I wasn't there 10 minutes earlier, so that was that. Since then, so 19 years I have had got off tubes twice when I have not been happy with my fellow passengers (probably just common nutters to be fair), and yes, I am not keen on big venues (just not keen on huge amounts of people) but nothing to do with what happened, I often leave a bit early. Once you let these anxieties in, they get blown out of proportion, and before you know it, you won't do anything for fear of a thing that won't happen. If you don't fancy it, then fair enough, but work out why. Hope this helps x