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Original poster

Wondering if colleague did this on purpose

284 replies

WilloWhisperer · 08/11/2024 19:24

Today I had an important meeting arranged which I have been organising since July. In the end I rearranged my schedule to work today (I work for this company and have my own small business where I usually see clients on a Friday so had a lot of logistics to arrange).

The meeting was at 12 and so our senior consultant wanted me to go through some things in the morning. I told our whole team where I would be, asking them to get me when the people I was expecting had arrived.

The layout is a line of offices which are tucked away. The senior consultant and I had the door shut as we were discussing confidential information, furthest away from the entrance. There is a junior colleague who always huffs that she has to show people where these particular rooms are (she is sort of part of our team but in a different capacity)

I came out of the office at 12.10 to see if the people I had a meeting with were here yet. No one had got me so I thought they might be late. After a bit of investigating, she said “I looked around and couldn’t find you, so they left”. She said she asked around. But none of my team saw her come up the corridor. All she had to do was ask my whereabouts and any of them would have known where I was/ to come and get me. They were all working with their doors open.

She has form for doing things “to prove a point” so I’m wondering if she has done this on purpose? I don’t know when I/they am going to be able to rearrange and we will probably lose work because of this.

OP posts:
MissingLynks · 09/11/2024 21:43

Even OP, despite originally saying she did it on purpose, has now conceded she might genuinely have not been aware OP was in the office since it wasn't one of OP's normal office days and OP never actually deigned to tell her

DelicateSoundOfEchos · 09/11/2024 21:47

I don't for a second think you should have been waiting in reception. I'd find it very odd if I were meeting someone and they were on patrol in reception.

However, I'd be less than impressed by what you did. It seems you informed everyone of this meeting, except the person who actually needed to know. Its quite understandable that she would assume there to be a miscommunication somewhere given you don't work Fridays and hadn't told her you were working that particular Friday. You need to learn to communicate properly rather than just assume someone will know what you'd like them to know, and to behave in line with expectations that only exist in your head.

Frankly I think you're bang out of order. The onus is also on you to manage your own time and that means checking if your guests have arrived. The consultant you were speaking with was not your priority from 12pm.

Gabby8 · 09/11/2024 21:51

hmm, I think there’s more to this- the red flags to me are/-

”sort of being part of your team”
“ has form for doing things to prove a point”.

I think ultimately it was your responsibility to go and look for your visitors at the time of the meeting especially as you basically admitted she had previous form.

She doesn’t sound particularly helpful but it also sounds like there’s a clash and she feels she’s being bossed around by people that she doesn’t directly report to? There’s nothing more annoying than people that think they are senior treating you like the tea girl when in fact they are nothing to do with you. Although this may not be the case at all, it may be that’s how she perceives it. If it is actually her job it needs to be discussed with her line manager.

Breadcat24 · 09/11/2024 21:56

If you have been organizing this since July surely they had your mobile number.

  1. Why did you not text them before they came to say let me know when you are near so I can meet you
  2. why did they not call you
sounds odd
Brefugee · 10/11/2024 09:02

Drakhan · 09/11/2024 20:32

I know that but it will get the point across that she is to blame for the lost work and she needs to buck her ideas up.
Also, have a private discussion with her about it but make sure you record it secretly.

Edited

no. The idea bucking in the first instance needs to be done by OP.

But in General her company/team need to have a good long look at their processes. They are... being charitable here... innefective.

Original poster
WilloWhisperer · 10/11/2024 09:32

I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to grasp the idea that her job is to “float” to where she is sent. This is often in our department. And when she works in our department she is expected to essentially act as receptionist whether she likes it or not. When she is in other departments I understand they need a more clerical role, and if that’s what she prefers perhaps she needs to apply for a permanent clerical position. The others that come down are great and manage this.

And yes I had spoken to her!

OP posts:
Brefugee · 10/11/2024 09:37

Glad i don't work with you OP (especially glad i am not even peripherally related to your team)

You have zero capability of self reflection, and your deflection of blame is unattractive in what i presume is a relatively senior role.

What are you going to put in place to ensure you don't waste people's time again (since July! I'd have been on to your boss to rip you a new one at 12.05)

Also - it is a good idea to schedule all meetings to end 5 minutes to the hour or 5 minutes before the half hour.

DoYouReally · 10/11/2024 09:42

Perhaps she doesn't like you tone and attitude (especially if it's anything like what is evident in your posts).

I wouldn't go out if my way to help you, I suspect she didn't either.

Less blame. More self reflection needed.

Grammarnut · 10/11/2024 09:57

WilloWhisperer · 10/11/2024 09:32

I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to grasp the idea that her job is to “float” to where she is sent. This is often in our department. And when she works in our department she is expected to essentially act as receptionist whether she likes it or not. When she is in other departments I understand they need a more clerical role, and if that’s what she prefers perhaps she needs to apply for a permanent clerical position. The others that come down are great and manage this.

And yes I had spoken to her!

Yes, but you looked for your clients ten minutes after they were supposed to arrive. You should have been ready to meet them and have briefed floating staff to bring them to you, if you were not going down to meet them. Your fault, I think. Not very good at time management?

Sayoonara · 10/11/2024 10:14

WilloWhisperer · 10/11/2024 09:32

I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to grasp the idea that her job is to “float” to where she is sent. This is often in our department. And when she works in our department she is expected to essentially act as receptionist whether she likes it or not. When she is in other departments I understand they need a more clerical role, and if that’s what she prefers perhaps she needs to apply for a permanent clerical position. The others that come down are great and manage this.

And yes I had spoken to her!

"my suspicion is she didn’t even look because she thought they were wrong - she knows I don’t work on a Friday and I suspect she turned them away because of this."

You spoke to her, yet she thought you weren't in? Come on, you didn't speak to her before the visitors came.

CandyCane457 · 10/11/2024 10:20

Sayoonara · 10/11/2024 10:14

"my suspicion is she didn’t even look because she thought they were wrong - she knows I don’t work on a Friday and I suspect she turned them away because of this."

You spoke to her, yet she thought you weren't in? Come on, you didn't speak to her before the visitors came.

Show quote history

Nailed it!!!!!

OP can’t keep track of her own story.

CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 10/11/2024 10:24

OK, I give in. It was all Sandra's fault, you are completely blameless. There is absolutely no way you could or should have thought 'that's odd, it's 11:55 and they've not arrived yet, perhaps I should check what's going on'. Good luck explaining that to your boss 👍🏼

IkeaJesusChrist · 10/11/2024 10:27

There's no way you spoke to her.

AdviceNeeded2024 · 10/11/2024 10:30

IkeaJesusChrist · 10/11/2024 10:27

There's no way you spoke to her.

I agree otherwise the whole story doesn’t make sense. They only left after 10 mins if they are told the OP isn’t at work that day.

If I had a meeting arranged for 4 months with a team notoriously hard to get booked in you can guarantee I’d be at the reception as soon as I got in telling them who was coming and what to do when they got there. It seems the OP has dreadful communication skills 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
WilloWhisperer · 10/11/2024 12:08

There is only one entrance in and out it would have been impossible not to see her to at least say hello.

I was guessing maybe she forgot I was in, have you never thought of multiple explanations, however improbable when you weren’t sure what had happened?

As for all you who would have put the consultant in their place. Of course I told him I had a meeting which was rebuffed with “someone will get you”. You meet him in person and try.

OP posts:
Original poster
WilloWhisperer · 10/11/2024 12:11

Anyway I’m going to stop replying to this thread unless there is a significant update. Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
WilloWhisperer · 10/11/2024 12:12

CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 10/11/2024 10:24

OK, I give in. It was all Sandra's fault, you are completely blameless. There is absolutely no way you could or should have thought 'that's odd, it's 11:55 and they've not arrived yet, perhaps I should check what's going on'. Good luck explaining that to your boss 👍🏼

I was with one of my bosses, so…. ?

OP posts:
OneDandyPoet · 10/11/2024 12:21

WilloWhisperer · 10/11/2024 12:08

There is only one entrance in and out it would have been impossible not to see her to at least say hello.

I was guessing maybe she forgot I was in, have you never thought of multiple explanations, however improbable when you weren’t sure what had happened?

As for all you who would have put the consultant in their place. Of course I told him I had a meeting which was rebuffed with “someone will get you”. You meet him in person and try.

So prior to that day, did your junior colleague get specifically told by you that you will be in on that Friday, and that the meeting will be held on that day at that time? Did you specifically tell her?

KrisAkabusi · 10/11/2024 12:24

There is only one entrance in and out it would have been impossible not to see her to at least say hello.

So you never spoke to her that morning to say that you had a particularly important meeting and to go find you in the senior consultant office when the guests arrive. You just walked past on the way in and assumed she saw you.

Sayoonara · 10/11/2024 13:06

Embarrassing thread for you OP, I'm not surprised you are now backing off from it.

You came her to get validation and ideas of how to blame your colleague for your own mistake. A colleague that probably gets paid a quarter of your salary. Your disdain for her and her role is pretty clear and you have her lined up as a scapegoat.

You think that perhaps, maybe, you said hello to her. Even that isn't clear. You know that wasn't enough on your part.

Unless you explicitly said 'Fred's team are due here at 12pm, please take them to Meeting room B', none of this is her fault. And we all know you didn't.

dreamer24 · 10/11/2024 13:11

WilloWhisperer · 10/11/2024 12:08

There is only one entrance in and out it would have been impossible not to see her to at least say hello.

I was guessing maybe she forgot I was in, have you never thought of multiple explanations, however improbable when you weren’t sure what had happened?

As for all you who would have put the consultant in their place. Of course I told him I had a meeting which was rebuffed with “someone will get you”. You meet him in person and try.

Then this was his fault, if he prevented you from ending your meeting with him to go and check.

Delatron · 10/11/2024 13:47

Ok, I think she forgot you were in. Or she deliberately tried to sabotage your meeting as she knew she’d get away with it (by saying she thought you weren’t in that day).

I do think it could have been prevented if you’d have told her that you were expecting guests and which meeting room you’d be in. As she’d have no comeback then.

Will you let us know what the clients say on Monday? Then it will shed more light on her involvement in all this.

Jellycatspyjamas · 10/11/2024 14:25

Anyway I’m going to stop replying to this thread unless there is a significant update. Thanks.

Its your thread, who do you think would be bringing a significant update if not you?

CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 10/11/2024 17:20

So, your boss thinks it's ok that this 'very important' meeting didn't go ahead and may result in the loss of work because you placed your trust in a person who is known to be unreliable and didn't think/bother to check what was going on?

Okaaaaaay 👍🏼

IkeaJesusChrist · 10/11/2024 17:35

CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 10/11/2024 17:20

So, your boss thinks it's ok that this 'very important' meeting didn't go ahead and may result in the loss of work because you placed your trust in a person who is known to be unreliable and didn't think/bother to check what was going on?

Okaaaaaay 👍🏼

That's not what happened.