Lifts to school

[FloralCrown]

My DC passed their driving test a couple of months ago and as we live in the country with the school 4 miles away down pavement-less, busy roads, we decided to buy a car for them to use.

This has made my life so much easier as the bus was really unreliable and I often had to do the school run last minute when it didn't show up/was delayed.

My DC has given their 3 friends a lift to school since the day after they passed, saving them time and the bus fare, but not once has any of them ever offered any money for petrol/car costs (like extortionate insurance 🙄)

AIBU to think that their parents should have at least given a fiver/tenner to pass onto the driver by now because that's what I would have done?

My DC feels awkward about asking for money, I don't really see the lift-receiving-kids as I'm working/commuting when they leave, so without sending a pointed text to their parents I can't really get involved, but I'm starting to feel like a bit of a mug here.

None of the three kids are close to taking their test, let alone passing (or getting a car), so the lifts are unlikely to ever be reciprocated.

Are they being CFs?

I think @MrsMitford3 probably has this right Op, the parents are still giving their kids bus fare but they're keeping it for themselves. Your DC is old enough to drive so they're old enough to sort this out, no petrol money, no lifts. It's a good life lesson for your DC and the others in how taking advantage doesn't endear you to people, also how to spot entitlement since the other kids are now deliberately arriving late assuming they'll get a lift

My kids would have asked for money tbh. In your case, the bus stop is outside your house so I guess that she doesn’t feel right charging when she’s not driving extra to their homes.

So why the feck wouldn't she open her mouth and tell her friends she wants petrol money? 😳

She clearly doesn't want it!

I don't think you are unreasonable to expect them to offer. If it were my kids (or me) I would definitely offer but I know that not everyone has the same thoughts or values as me. So, that's why I suggested your DC asks her friends rather than just carry on letting them take advantage.

I do agree with you, OP. But I’m saying that from my perspective as a woman in her 30s with a driving licence and insight into how much petrol/insurance etc costs.

I think it’s maybe not on the radar of your daughter’s pals. It should be on their parents radar though, unless they’re under the impression they get the bus. They might also think that as your daughter is going anyway, taking passengers doesn’t leave her at any loss.

If I were you, I’d suggest it to your daughter that the norm is for a contribution to petrol to be paid but also accept that it’s her choice if she feels unable to.
She is going to be an adult soon and there might be a lesson in this for her, in relation to assertiveness and being sensible with her money. If she finds herself skint while her friends have money because they’re getting free transport, something might click.