Ex introducing dd to new partner

[Doodlesmum08]

My ex and me have been separated for 12 months and in this time he has had two new partners. His first partner was abusive and I was very reluctant to let him introduce our dd ( currently 19 months) to her. He agreed and they quickly split up. He has since moved on and been dating another woman since June. She is nice and I've personally met her. He still pushed me to allow my dd to meet her just 5 months into their relationship. Their contact is starting to really get me down though, as I'm now aware it was way too soon. Ex has said he waited ages and I'm completely out of order. Aibu? For reference, I've not dated anyone since our split

He’s not going to stop them having contact now it’s started. Is that what you’re suggesting?

What’s getting you down?

This is one of the main things you have to adjust your mindset to after separation. What your Ex does on his time - who he introduces to his child, what he feeds her, where he takes her, what they do etc is no longer any of your business unless there are concerns about abuse or neglect.

Will it get you down? Yes. But you have to co-parent with this man for 16 more years, this isn't the hill you want to die on. She's met your daughter, you think she seems ok, therefore there's no issue,

And if I sound unsympathetic, im sorry. I say this as someone who had an Ex with his new gf around my youngest when she was 8 months old - changing her nappy, co-sleeping with her etc. It hurt. But I never said a word. She's still in my daughters life now, and cares for her. The more people who can love a child, the better.

How you feel about this is irrelevant OP, he can do whatever he wants on his contact time. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand how you feel I have been where you are, but there is nothing you can do, and no court in the land will stop it.

You can’t control who he introduced her too. He could have introduced her after 5 days if he wished.

i don’t think 5 months is rediculously soon especially with a baby too young to understand anyway.

This. This. This. This.

Well done for making this all about your DC and not yourself. It's a hard thing to do to see the ex with someone else and then to see that someone also in your DC life. Well done

It’s good he spoke to you about it but actually he didn’t have to.

I've had a polite conversation with my ex , apologised and all is good. Glad we could talk civilly. Clearly a lot of jealous mums on here who can't voice their feelings to their exs and other people

You sound delightful.

People took the time to write messages to you to try and help you and this is how you respond?

You sound very immature

You don't 'allow' him, he has an equal right to you to introduce your baby to anyone he likes as long as they are safe

You clearly didn't want a discussion. You just wanted people to agree with you as you're not mature enough to accept it when people don't.

I wouldn't return to this thread if I were you. You benefit from it.

You've been given.some excellent advice but have been rude to those who gave it.