Going through a long divorce

[Lizzyclar]

Hello.
Please could anybody give me some advise.
I am going through a very stressful 2 year ongoing divorce. I have initiated child court order and divorce. Thankfully the child arrangements are in place. But the divorce is not.
My x owns everything. I have been told by my solicitor to stay in the marital home. X has moved into a new property and had a very high powered job.
I am on universal credit and work 3 days a week in hospitality for my daughters small business.
I suffer with a very bad back and my mental health is not great.
I went to court on Tuesday to the what I thought was the ending of the divorce.
All what happened at court was his solicitor is claiming I can work full-time to get a mortgage when the marital home is sold.
We share my son 50 50.
He works from his home.
The 3 days a week i work for my daughter is taking its toll on my back and I have an hour and half commute to and from work. And part of that involves getting on a scooter to work.
I feel trapped. I carnt physically and mentally do full time in hospitality. As x,s solicitor has said. There's no full time job out of hospitality that would let me have the time off when I have my son. Everything is shift work in retail. If I don't do the 19 hours a week with which I'm struggling with at the moment universal credit are on my back and I have to go to the job centre every week. I've been to the doctors im and have been on medication for depression, anxiety and back pain relief though out this horrible divorce.
The doctor have changed my medication as my back is getting worse. They have given me a sick note. But I don't want to let my daughter down. There's another big final court date coming up. How can I prove to the courts that o can not physically mentally do full time. Any advice on this I would be eternally great full.

OP I'm really sorry you are struggling with this. What does your solicitor say on this? This is the financial negotiation part, this is so important.

Your solicitor is your advocate, your negotiator and the courts prefer a clean break financially so I'd assume you'd be negotiating for a larger part of the capital from the house to enable you to buy without a mortgage perhaps, and yes your medical situation is relevant.

What does your solicitor say?

I went through a ridiculously long process re my divorce, so I feel your pain. STBXH’s use the court system to mess with your head & try to force you to do things against your best interests.
Divorce and the law is ultimately about fairness and equity, the equal share of marital assets and protection of the long term interests of children.
I am sure the court will take into account your limitations on working, but in terms of proof, you will need to take legal advice on what evidence is needed.
I hope you are not representing yourself, but if you are, just state your position clearly at the next hearing, and ask the court what evidence is required to prove your work limitations.
Good luck!

Thankyou so kind for your advise. All my solicitor has said is I have to have some proof or evidence from the doctors that I can not work full time.
Which to me seems impossible.

Have you looked at ESA - employment support allowance?

How old is your son?

Get your lawyers to be more specific

They will be talking about any job, not just hospitality - so if you present evidence that you can no longer work in hospitality due to back pain, they will argue that you could do a full-time desk based job.

Thankyou.
I'm over 50 and not trained in any computer work
And retail most shops want you weekends and shift work patterns that wouldn't work when I have my son half the week and every other weekend.

What’s the diagnosis with your back?

No.i havnt heard of esa.
My son is 9
I'm waiting for an mri scan

OP, reading your original post, you had the most recent hearing 4 days ago, so the court will now schedule another hearing to consider you STBXH’s assertions. At a guess, that would be at least another month, if not longer. That gives you plenty of time to gather evidence. You need to take a big breath. Again I say, speak to your solicitor and get them to outline exactly what evidence you need to support your case. As well as medical evidence, you probably need to outline your work history and any training you have done. From what you are saying, it sounds like this has been minimal, limiting your options. It seems to me your case is strong, you need to get your lawyers working on your behalf to support it.

Thankyou so much for your replys they really do make such a difference. I don't feel so alone in this with your really appreciative advice x