My best friend is dying and I'm not ok with it

[Justforone]

My best friend of twenty years was diagnosed with a rare cancer six months ago. She had surgery, was declared surgically cured (no cancer in lymph nodes, clear margins) and started preventative chemo but was told she was surgically cured. A few weeks ago they found a secondary tumour, and a few days ago they've told her it's spread to her lungs and she potentially only has a few months left. She's 35. What the actual fuck. I love her so much. How do I begin to get my head around this?! I'm snappy with my kids, and I want to go and see her but can't pop in as we're five hours apart. I'd drive up at a moment's notice, but I'm also aware that she needs space to process this bombshell. Am I being unreasonable to be out of sorts and a total rat bag to live with?! Any tips on how to move forward?

You suck it up and you do it.
If you think this affects you, imagine how it affects her - how she’s trying to cope, how she’s trying to wrap her head around this devastating situation.
And yeah, I know. I’ve been in your shoes. Nobody cares about being in your shoes. You don’t matter in this situation.
What matters is her comfort and her peace of mind and her stability in the days and weeks to come. You don’t matter so get over yourself.
Those 👆 are the stupidest and most cruel words anyone ever said to me.
I know exactly how you feel and it sucks - you can’t be there and you feel like that’s the only place you belong. You feel like if you go you’ll be intruding but if you stay away she’ll think you don’t love her.
The biggest mistake I made was letting my aunt bully me into staying away, and now it’s too late. But I called her - in the beginning every day and then as she got sicker, every other day. We spoke the day before she died.
You’ll have to make up your own mind, follow your own heart, but I would at the very least see her a time or two before she gets really sick.
Don’t do it for her.
Do it for you and f**k anyone who tells you that you’re in the way or that you don’t matter.
My girl was a Karen. Her name was Karen. She was born in 1955 and died in 2005 and there hasn’t been one single solitary day that I haven’t thought about her and missed her.
She’ll live forevermore in my heart.
I’m sending you love and strength, @Justforone.

OP, if she felt comfortable enough to tell you, I’m sure she would be okay with you visiting. When you can work it out, go and see her. Do things that she is able to do and you both enjoy doing together. Something as simple as watching a shit movie. There’s nothing you can say or change, just be there for her right now. You will be glad you was.