One of my best friends is draining on days out

[Ellsbells22]

For context - me & some of my best friends (we’ve been pals since primary school, all in our late 30s now) spend days out with the kids quite frequently.
Particular friend has 3 DC under the age of 6. Which yes, it’s hard, I’ve been there.

The problem is, when we are out it can be so emotionally draining. All she talks about is her own children, who are present and has 0 interest in any of ours, the convo always reverts back to her kids. She never has conversations with puts, when we all take an active interest in hers… she expects us to remember every detail of their lives and gets agitated if we don’t… if one of them falls and we don’t see it she gets stressed as if we were meant to have. Wouldn’t mind but she never ever reciprocates. If her kids are doing anything they shouldn’t be, she’s defensive if we gently redirect them, but very quick to tell ours off… as in snappy. I feel like we are on eggshells!
Don’t get me wrong, I love her kids, they’re brilliant. She’s a brilliant mum and as a person she’s great! We can’t avoid not going out with her or not seeing her as she’s a best friend. If this was discussed with her it would cause a HUGE racket.
Just don’t know what to do!

No not at all.

Exactly! I’m genuinely interested about them but not for a full 3 hours!

I have 7 children now but I had five of them very close in age at one point five under the age of 5 including twins. I was never solely focused on them and am very laid back so I certainly didn’t pick up of other kids behaviour and not my own if anything I was harsher on my own. That said, she sounds lonely, lonely of friend company. She may have a lot of support, which I did not but everyday life can be very boring (rewarding yes but draining). And if that’s all her life revolves around solely her children she probably doesn’t have anything else to talk about.

i would either speak to her direct or call her out on the times at the time when she picks other kids up for their behaviour and not hers but not in a mean way. I’ve done this before but then i don’t shy away from possible awkwardness or confrontation.

im sure she is a lovely person but drowning in parenthood and loneliness and over compensates on these gatherings. I actually feel a little sorry for her xx

I had a friend like this, totally self centred and insecure.
Always had to get to the cafe, soft play etc first, order food first, expect others to watch her children or would berate and blame.
Your friend is crossing boundaries, piling on expectations and controlling by threatening to kick off

Time to move on Op

She’s not your best friend if she’s draining.