Unhappily married

[iCantStopppEating]

I don’t know if it’s him or if I’m always going to be this sad. I’m really low. My house is a tip and I feel so sad all the time I can’t function. I have 2 primary aged children and I’m just fed up. I’ve been slowly putting on weight over the years which is making me feel more like crap. Leaving wouldn’t make me happier I know that no matter how much people advocate LTB. I would have no money and no safety net. He’s not exactly in my life right now as he works all the time so I know I’m the one stopping myself from being happy, I could easily go out with friends and make plans rather than sitting here alone. His mum would be so happy to have the kids over for an evening. She suggests this all the time. I just feel so stuck and hopeless,

Maybe a trip to the gp is in order?

Babe, you sound a little low. Have you thought about talking to someone to offload?

can you do something small - like make the bed, or wash up?

then have a cup of tea, or coffee, or fizzy water if you have any (I like to put PLJ in it)

and decide what you're going to have for tea - preferably heavy on the vegetables unless you really don't like any, but something you'll enjoy that might be a bit healthy

You need a major plan, but you can't make a major plan while you're in this state (I've been there)

As others have said, this sounds like depression. Could you reach out to one trusted friend? And a docs appointment would be wise, you shouldn’t feel sad all the time. You sound exhausted. Sending a big hug x

Sounds like depression and once you get into the spiral very difficult to get out without help and understanding of the triggers. Start with getting yourself an appointment with the GP. Then something small - have a shower, do some washing up, make a coffee and make a plan to take up the offer from your MIL - that could be a good start - let her have the kids so you can have some quiet time and change the routine for an evening - small steps to make a difference. I know it’s hard but you have taken a big important first step recognising you are not happy and you want something to change. Hang on in there and see your GP - which will be a help with some medication and perhaps some therapy to help realign your thoughts and responses to situations. Good luck and be kind to yourself .

See the GP, make that your first step on the way to making it better for you.

Go and see your GP.
I felt like this quite a few years ago.
Turned out I had an under active thyroid.

Are you working right now? Don't make any drastic changes like LTB but I would suggest maybe talking to someone and taking the offer of childcare xx

Everyone has already gave the advice I would give. Just be kind to yourself and take small steps

I think you need to work out whether your marriage is making you feel depressed, or whether your depression is making you feel like this about your marriage. And it would be a bad idea to make any life changing decisions until you’re certain.

I think the doctor is your first port of call. I know there is a huge thing about medication but it can be life changing. And if you’re not functioning properly, it sounds like you’re past the stage where it’s possible to fix yourself.

Baby steps, go for a walk, clean one part of the house, even if it's the downstairs loo! You will honestly feel better.

Hugs op, been here too, as others have said, something small to begin to feel better- early to bed with no screens, a shower, or feet up and watch something you’d love to watch. Sorry you’re feeling like this x And if you can talk to your dh. You liked/ loved each other at some stage xxxx

thank you for the suggestions and support. Yes baby steps is the right way to go I think. I’m going to go for a walk today then focus on cleaning just one room. I think a PP asked if I worked - yes I work 3 days a week at the moment. I tend to feel worse on my days off!