Feeling off around my best friend ...

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We're friends since we were teens. We're now early fifties. She is very kind and compassionate while also being boundaried and has great respect for herself.
We have always gone through life's ups and downs together and while she has been compassionate and kind, she has r really put herself out for me especially when I could have done with help and support.
He husband is a twat but she tolerates him. She works full time and has a busy home life but I admire her ability to self care and self prioritise.
We spent some time together recently and I found her to be almost obsessive about plans. Very rigid and uncompromising. She never gave any respect to my personal
Circumstances but expected me to slot into plans exactly in the way that she did.

For context, we are worlds apart in terms of family support and finances.
She then took it upon herself to claim concern for me and my mental health( I have anxiety and a very stressful life as a single parent with children with special needs) and started giving unsolicited advice and judgement about my ex partner, ex husband, kids, my self care rituals etc . I was so shocked, I was speechless!!! I am having counselling for trauma and abuse.

It was so unlike her especially when she herself has mental health issues and has a husband who is a dickhead that adds to an already very stressful life .

I feel that I don't really want to spend such intense time with her again as while I accept that she likes to control every aspect of her life, I am really different and prefer to go with flow., I do not follow a set clock every single day especially on holidays.
I was not quick enough to explain that we are two very different people now and truth is, she based her judgements on scant information .... because she doesn't really know extent of my trauma and abuse as she can't seem to listen to that type of detail in conversation.
How do I move on from this?
There is absolutely no point in discussing this with her. Her views are fixed. She is always right in her mind pand explains that if she is proven wrong, that these are her opinions regardless... on any topic.

Anyone ?

Do you feel she is telling you what to do?

I wonder if it's her approach to being overwhelmed and feeling like she "ought" to give concrete advice.

I feel like she thinks she has agency in my life and when I don't take her advice or suggestions on board because I don't agree with it or just simply do not want to do something , she takes it as a personal insult.

I work in a highly specialised area of medicine and last week for
Example she tried to tell me what the rights of the client were, despite it being my job to inform
Them of such! She doesnt work in this area but a family member of hers has used the service in the past .
When I reminded her that that was my actual job and corrected her on some misinformation , she looked kind of offended. I dont feel like I know her much anymore and I'm sad about that.

This is one of the bizarre posts there has been a profusion of lately on here. Someone is described as a ‘best friend’, and the length, closeness, full credentials etc of the relationship given, and then it emerges that these people have clearly spent no significant time together in ages, so that, as here, their personalities, supposedly so well known, appear to be a complete surprise to one another. Here the OP finds her friend dogmatic and rigidly scheduled, and the friend clearly thinks the OP is struggling.

OP, you describe yourself as being anxious and having a very stressful life, and having trauma counselling and being a single parent, yet you seem very resentful that your supposed best friend sees this, because you think she’s married to a ‘dickhead’ and has her own issues. Maybe she’s right about you?

This puts me very much in mind of a (very) long-term friend of my own, who has similar tendencies, can’t seem to listen, has a tendency to tell me what’s what, even though I know better, and always has the ‘answer’. Underneath it, she’s always been very anxious and I think this may be at the heart of it. It can be wearing, but it’s been such a long relationship that she feels like family to me. Although she has her limitations, she does have her strengths as well. So I’m sure we will continue be in each other’s lives until one of us dies.

There’s nothing wrong with you correcting your friend and hopefully she will be able to reflect on this. Good on you for standing up for yourself!