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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to change the locks, can I do this?

5 replies

Evecob · 07/11/2024 15:02

Hi, i have posted my story before here but long story short my stbxh was arrested a few weeks ago due to DV, which has been on and off throughout our entire 13 year relationship. I reported an incident that occured 2 months ago and with previous evidence and proof via recording he threw things that hit me they arrested him.

He never punched me, but has assaulted me trying to take things from me, thrown things at me, around me, thrown sofas, chairs, driven dangerously with our children in the car, punched holes in doors and walls in the past, lots of intimitating behaviours, screaming, banging, ranting etc.

The decision to split was mutual but he didnt want to leave the house before he got arrested.

We have a joint mortgage but i have taken over paying fully for the mortgage and all bills while he is living with his dad.

He is currently on bail conditions not to contact me until end of jan.

Do i have any rights to change the locks on the doors? For safety reasons, or is this not allowed?

Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Hoardasurass · 07/11/2024 15:09

Not while he's on the mortgage/deeds without an occupation order.
My advice would be to contact a lawyer ASAP and start the divorce process and apply for an occupation order or buy him out of the house/sell the house to him/someone else

Anotherparkingthread · 07/11/2024 15:14

Listen, he might have the right to be there and you won't know without proper legal advice from a lawyer. but that doesn't matter, he threw chairs and sofas at you. He could come to your house and kill you. Change the locks. The police will say it's a civil matter if he calls them, and remove him if he shows up there behaving aggressively. Just change them and worry about the consequences later because they won't be worse than what he could do to you.

Purpleraiin · 07/11/2024 15:16

No, but I'd do it anyway for peace of mind. If his bail conditions state he cannot come to the house then I'd crack on. What's the worst that could happen? He comes to the house and attempts entry but cannot get in due to lock change. Maybe he messages you asking why you've changed the locks? Then you have evidence of him breaking his bail.
Or he doesn't break bail so will never know and you have that extra peace of mind anyway.

JollyPinkFox · 07/11/2024 15:17

Normally you’d need an occupation order or else he would in theory be able to go back to court and get an order to get in. Given his bail conditions are not to contact you though I’m assuming that also means he can’t enter the property whilst you’re inside it. So unless he has any reason to enter any other time, for your own safety I would personally change the locks anyway. If he finds out then he would have to contact you to moan about it, thus breaching bail conditions, if not considered to breach then you go to court and get your occupation order plus a non mol ex parte.

User478 · 07/11/2024 15:20

Such a shame you lost your keys and had to change the locks for an unrelated security issue.

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