Do you find it hard to trust people?

[AlertBird]

I feel like I’ve become more guarded over the years, and it seems harder to fully trust others. Has anyone else felt the same, or do you think it’s a normal part of getting older and experiencing life?

Unless I know them, I don't trust men. It is hard to see why anyone would trust a man you do not know. I think it's a combination of age and experience.

I used to be so trusting, perhaps too trusting. Its not that I think lots of people are bad - but I've learnt you don't always know someone as much as you think you do.

I think with age we witness drama etc.. and have so much to do in life anyway we sort of opt for an easier life in terms of social connections.

I need to learn to be more guarded, I give out way too much information

I'm not the trusting type, never have been. Very few people I totally trust.

I'm not sure what trust is anymore. I had an experience, which went on for a long time, which made me lose trust in someone. It changed me a lot. I think I'm more of the mind now, that I either believe someone or not, but I've lost the concept of "trust".

Depends what you mean by 'trust'. For example, I don't trust people with information and I'm careful what I tell people, whether that's about me or others - I don't tell other people's stories. I don't routinely rely on people. However, there are people that I know I can trust to help me if I needed it. I just don't ask. I've become more like this the older I get. Used to be much more open about myself when I was younger.

I tend to start off trusting people until they give me a reason not to at which point I will never regain that trust.

I don't fully trust anyone really, but not in an actively guarded kind of way, I'm just aware that everyone's human and can fuck up sometimes. I'm alright with that.

It’s not so much that I don’t trust people in the sense that I think they might do me harm. It’s more that I know when push comes to shove they will always put themselves and their best interests firsts. Realistically don’t we all?
So I feel you can never totally trust anyone and need to make provision for yourself.
eg I have been married 36 years but still have a running away fund. Although at my age it would be more hobbling than running 😂

I live in an area where people have lived here for years so I tend to know a lot of people and I know who to trust. With new people, I'm very wary. I'd rather be guarded to begin with and find out that someone is ok rather than go in all enthusiastic and then find out they're not all that.

I've always been observant, and even of we hit it off, you won't have immediate access to my personal stuff. I also trust my intuition, so if something is even slightly off, it's a no go.
Because of that, I trust the people I have around me, because they're never chosen on a whim.
And if you betray my trust, I'll cut you off like you never existed.

I am not sure what you mean.
Would I give stranger my credit card and pin number? No. Would I trust my neighbour to use my bathroom and not rob me blind? Yes.
I trust my manager with my personal health information. I trust my work friend with details about my life. Yes, she may be relaying it to someone in her circle but so what. I don't know these people and it is no different than any of posters on here telling us about their relatives and friends.
Do I trust that people will be there when I need them? Yes, I have a close knit extended family that will walk on coal to save my arse. And I will do the same for them.
What sort of "trust" to you mean?

I probably seem like I trust people but that's because I'm very open. I only have a few "secrets" I wouldn't tell anyone. Otherwise I'm an open book.

But I don't actually "trust" anyone in any way. Other than my adult DC. I definitely don't trust my wider family. Certain members were born with a wooden spoon in their hand, they love stirring so much! I don't trust men, at all. I don't really trust friends either, too many occasions in the past where I know I've been discussed behind my back.

The way I see it, better to have no expectations of anyone. They will then either pleasantly surprise you or you at least don't feel let down.

Yes, I rarely trust anyone, I'm very guarded.
I've been bitten far too many times.

I'm with @Fairyliz on the hobbling running away fund, even though I trust DH more than anyone.

I find trusting anyone else very difficult.

This.

I also like to know and accommodate/accept/refuse people's weaknesses.

Friend who's always late? I can plan around that.
Friend who'll never give back that tenner. I'll never give them a tenner I need back.
Friend who lies and cheats? Nah.

I also live by the rule is that if they can do it to someone else they will do the same/similar to you in the right circumstances.

(My husband got badly burned by his best man, but I always thought that calling him 'best man' was highly ironic - lying, drug taking cheater. He never deserved the trust my husband showed in him.)

No I don't trust people anymore, and this makes me feel a bit sad really. The last four years have been horrendous. Bullying in two work places, toxic work environments and being witness to others being bullied too. Dealing with my father's dementia and getting no support from agencies including the LA I had worked for, job losses, lies, attack from said father, neighbours who wrote off my car, a DH who is quite controlling even if his heart is in the right place he thinks he knows best all the time, and now dealing with some entity called CV-insights that want to know why I have left previous toxic work place.....

I have worked with vulnerable client groups including children in care, and I have witnessed horrific abuse. I have seen the worst, and it has made me very wary of people. Up until four years ago I was friendly, outgoing, concerned, open and optimistic.

I agree. You get older, you’ve seen and experienced more bad behaviour. I don’t trust anyone anymore.

I trust people until they give me a reason not to and if they let me down or lie to me etc I try not to take it personally. I try to see it as a reflection of what a low grade bad person they are rather than blaming myself and tell myself I’m thankful I now know who they really are so I can rid them from my life.

I'm honest to a fault (easy for me to say. I know haha) and I have to remind myself that not everyone is like that and that people quite often lie.