AIBU for being upset with boyfriends reaction??

[Dygital]

Hi! I had my son 6 months ago and since then i’ve dealt with thyroid issues, i’ve recently just gotten bloods done that show my thyroid is much worse and has become overt hypothyroidism and needs to be check with a specialist and put on medication, i told my partner this over the phone once i got my blood results and then said “i don’t think i want anymore kids, i can’t deal with 2 kids and this disease, i don’t want to have anymore health issues” as i’ve been suffering since his birth, i’ve been sick 3 times, i’ve been anaemic and the thyroids have made me physically ill, i had my stitches infected the first week postpartum, i have ppd, and am dealing with all the mental and physical symptoms like hair loss, weight gain, exhaustion, mood swings, he had a really annoyed tone and said “yeah okay, love you bye” then hung up quickly, whenever i talk about my health he seems annoyed even if he says he isn’t his tone sounds annoyed, i’m so upset that he just doesn’t seem to care about me, i feel lost, i just don’t want another kid!

Hi, sorry not much help with your BF issues but I have an under active thyroid and it's an aged really well with medication I take each morning. My symptoms have gone away and I wouldn't say I notice it anymore and certainly don't feel like I have a disease. You're right in the thick of things at 6 months postpartum so I couldn't and wouldn't think about having more children now but things might change as things get easier and you feel more well and yourself again.

Perhaps try to talk to your BF face to face, perhaps he couldn't talk on the phone?

Hi, you have explained really well your feelings & it’s clear you are feeling a whirl of things at the moment, which sound completely justifiable. It can be really overwhelming - new baby, health issues, and just life. When I went thru something similar I also became very frustrated by my partner - I felt they weren’t giving me support I needed, weren’t listening actively to me, seemed disengaged and not interested. Which made me sadder / madder. I sought a therapist who I saw once a week and provided me space, professional support which I found really helpful and grounding. In retrospect, it also helped me step a little outside of myself and helped in ways I communicated with my partner &’helped me also see things better from others viewpoints too. My partner wasn’t the best at providing the active listening and emotional support generally (I have a new partner now but that’s another story), but the counselling helped massively. Just sharing in case this is helpful. You will know of your partner is usually a good listener and usually is supportive. He may also be feeling overwhelmed and may be switching off (albeit just when you need him). Big hugs and hope things improve

a somewhat dramatic response from you before you have even gone on the bloomin meds
and all over the phone!

i have hypothyroidism and the meds manage it brilliantly

presumably you have seen him since this telephone con (do you usually have serious medical conversations and future plan conversations regarding children over the phone?)

Is your partner planning more children? If not, I am not sure what you wanted him to say. If you wanted a sympathetic ear, I don't know if calling and starting a conversation about not having any more kids was really the best way to do it. Seems like there are some communication improvements to be made on both sides.
Also, consider your partner's point of view. Yes, you are the one who is unwell but his life changed too. Often, when we feel ill we lean on our nearest and dearest and they, inevitably, take the emotional load of caring for us. But who is there to care for them? Often nobody. Carer fatigue sets in, much quicker for some than we would have liked.
My partner lives with chronic pain and I hear "you just don't understand" daily. The truth is, I do very much understand but if my emotional needs aren't being met in a relationship, I am no longer a partner. I am a career which isn't exactly something I chose to do willingly. His illness happened to both of us but he is the only one who is allowed to grief.

Presumably your looks have changed from when he first met you as you mention hair loss and hair gain.

You're not married so he doesn't have the compulsion to stand by you in sickness and in health.

I think he's just being honest and realistic about his feelings.

You were being quite unfair to have a fairly heavy conversation over the phone and making declarations/decisions that should be at least jointly discussed (in a healthy partnership) and expecting him to be 100% onboard and supportive.
As someone with a multitude of chronic health conditions, I get that there are times that are overwhelming and perhaps you truly will stop at one child. I would encourage you to not make life decisions when your health is in crisis. You have a 6 month old, it’s fine to say that you currently are not in a place to be TTC in the immediate future and that you want to focus on your health. Once your health is managed or you have a clearer idea of how you respond to treatment, then you can discuss family planning with your partner. Whilst it is your body and ultimately your choice, your partner may wish to have more children and this could be a deal breaker for him.

'Whenever I talk about my health,', makes me think you talk about it lot, what do you want him to say?

Do you live together OP? How much support has he shown you whilst you’ve been recovering?

You were venting about a situation you are in temporarily. Your health and your situation will gradually improve as you get medication, recover from child birth and become a more self assured parent. He likely read it in the same way we might see a child's temper tantrum - something that will soon be over and isn't a true reflection of what your feelings will likely be in the future. In other words you were being overly dramatic and dumping on him. I do this sometimes to my partner and he isn't particularly sympathetic or responsive either, but I understand why.

Overly dramatic?!

intersting responses - I’m new here but responses seem a bit harsh on someone - the OP who is coming here (posting at 3am), who is sharing she is struggling, a new baby, health issues, sleep issues. I will pipe up and say I have struggled in past and sometimes I’ve sought to vent it express and seek support on anon forums like these -

When DH had a major health issue, it got to the stage where all we talked about was that, as empathetic as I tried to be there are times when you are just sick of it, and that was a life threatening illness.

Maybe your bf just felt the same way in that moment, and just wanted to talk about something else? Do you have friends and family who can give you support?

If he is genuinely unsympathetic in day to day life them that's a different story, the above is based on assuming it's a one off

Sorry to hear you're struggling OP. Your partner might have been head down/busy at work. It's a lot to start that discussion on the phone rather than at home when everyone is comfortable and ready to discuss their future family plans!

Give yourself a breather and then come back to it when you're feeling a bit better. As others mentioned, caring takes a toll as well as ill health.

I hope the meds help x