To have the house looking like "a s***hole" ???

[wrinklytum]

DP has been discharged from hospital today.His first words when he got through the door were that the house looked like well what the title says really.He then proceded to launch a huge tirade about how he expected more of me etc.

Now I freely admit it was not looking tidy,ironing board propped against wall,some toys on the living room floor,the throw had come off the sofa and there were crumbs under dds chair.

In my defence though I am half way through having to complete a project for work and deadline is looming.THis morning I have been washing,hung it out,breakfasted,clothed and dressed dd,washed up,played with dd,prepared a stew with dd "helping",read to dd done her walking on her frame with her,cleaned bathroom and toilet,done dds dinner and washed up,emptied rubbish.I was half way through kitchen tidying when dd got restless so I left it and took her upstairs for a change of scene,to read books and to change the bedsheets and duvet.

So should it have been immaculate as he expected? Or is he being unreasonable?

Don't know the backstory here but if you dh has just been in hospital he is probably tired and stressed and letting it out, so maybe cut him some slack and ignore.

If more generally he expects the house to be immaculate and for you to be the one that makes it so, on top of working and looking after your children, then maybe that needs addressing, but now is probably not the time.

Hardly a s*hole.

You did loads more than you left.

how long has he been in hospital?

when I was in for 5 days I found it odd to adjust to being home; you do get institutionalised even after a short period

a lot of mess when you get home might be a bit scary - is he always like this?

He sounds stressed and probably in need of some sleep but I'd have told him to fuck off personally, poorly or not....

'he expects more of you.................'

Sorry, but I would have been livid. He is definitely BU - although agree with mazzy he's probably tired/crotchety, etc.

But I don't think that's any excuse.

React with dignity (probably too late!), settle him in his favourite chair, give him a cup of coffee/tea and then FUCK OFF AND GO SHOPPING!

I suspect it's just the change from hospital which doesn't really have extraneous 'stuff' around to ordinary family clutter that has phased him. I recall sounding off to dh when I came home with ds1 about the mess when in fact it was only normal bits and pices like a newpaper and so on.