To sometimes hate having more than one child

[ijustneedawayout]

God knows which one I’d return as I do love them both, but together they are unbearable. They are 3, nearly 4, and 16 months.

They fight CONSTANTLY. I am exhausted with it. I got back from nursery with them at 430, in that time the older one shoved the baby off the sofa completely unprovoked, she did absolutely nothing.

At bedtime I can’t even read them stories as they fight to be on my lap, the babysitting the older one, the older one annoying the baby by refusing to let her lift the flap on her baby books. Squabble, argue, fight constantly.

I have an older brother, and I used to think my parents were just not very good at managing us. Now I know better. I hate having them both, but I love them individually. My baby is so chilled and easy and smiley without her brother around. If I just had my older one he’d be starting school this September and I’d have some freedom back.

I hate being a mum to two. Hate it.

Can you split bedtime? When DH isn't here (or to be honest even when he is) I leave the big one downstairs with the ipad and e.g. a gummy vitamin/yoghurt etc while I take the little one to bed and then do the older one.

Me too @SquawkerTexasRanger . it’s so strange how your perception just shifts.

your comment about turning your back, you can’t do this at the moment and expect anything like harmony. Divide and conquer, set very basic rules for playing together

That’s fair enough @Greentreesandbushes and one of those things easy to say but realistically I do need to turn my back sometimes if only to go to the loo! Setting basic rules won’t work at this stage, the older one ignores me and the younger one doesn’t understand.

16 month old and a 4.5 yo.

I absolutely hear you. It’s the pits at the moment as they are both mobile and demanding, but for completely separate things and with no interest in or care for each other.

Its no given but I hope when the youngest becomes more interested in playing as opposed to emptying cupboards or climbing stairs it might get better

Mine are teens now - it is worth it. Yes, they sometimes argue, but it is in that very safe and honest way that only siblings can - they are a unit and a real team - I am so glad that they have each other.

They will be having their struggles too OP. You never know what is happening behind closed doors.

Make sure you have an identity beyond being a mum.

So far I have found it doesnt get better! Mine are now 22 and 24. 24 year old hasnt lived at home for 6 years but recently split with partner. Now living with friends. 22 year old lives at home but flits between here and current partner.

Both are planning to spend xmas with us. My mum will also be here which means they will have to share a room for 3 days max. OMG. WW3 has broken out about it. 22 year old wont share her room. 24 year old wont share with 22 year old. 24 year old will sleep in lounge - I dont think so as a) she is incredibly messy, b) she gets up around 11am if left to her own devices and c) just no - she isnt!

I am contemplating me, DH, mum and dog just go away for xmas without telling them.

My youngest 2 are very similar ages, and I've found this age gap quite tricky, particularly with both wanting to sit on my lap at the same time. I just keep repeating "there's enough room for me to cuddle both of you" but they definitely still fuss about it. The almost 4 year old has recently started trying to include little brother in lots of things though, and he will come out with one toy for him and one for his brother to play together, I've found the more I praise him "wow you are the kindest big brother for sharing your toys" he loves that and does it more, so now I praise anything positive haha. Definitely challenging though for sure at times.