To feel so distant from DS?

[thiswinteritmightsnow]

I know age 3 can be challenging and it feels like we’ve had a particularly bad one.

DS is 3, nearly 4. No problems of note reported from preschool or nursery, but behaviour at home can be a challenge. I think the biggest challenge for me is the not listening. You literally ask him / tell him not to do something (or to do something) and he just gives you the grey rock treatment, just carries on and completely blanks you. I find it really frustrating. There are other behaviours I’m not keen on, but that’s probably the most infuriating.

What I’ve found upsetting though is that as a result there’s a distance, a space that just wasn’t there as a baby and younger toddler, that closeness isn’t there. So much of our time is spent sniping at one another.

I don’t know what I’m asking really, does it come back? I hate admitting this but at the moment I just don’t massively enjoy being around him.

Spend as much time as you can doing activities with him, playing, walking, chatting, reading. The more you do together, the stronger the bond will be and the more he'll listen to you.

Don't expect him to do what you want immediately, give him chance to finish off what he is doing first. Give him a 5 minute warning between transitions. When you ask him not to do something tell him why and then distract him with something else to do.

He's very young and you have to be a bit of a broken record at this age with the reminding of behaviour, just try to keep calm and consistent and remember you're teaching him how to behave and he's learning from how you behave too.

Have you had his hearing checked? Not just the GP looking in his ears, but an actual test and also the puff of air to check for glue ear. My little boy had reduced hearing but we didn't realise and he compensated so well. But it came across as being ignored.