I have a difficult relationship with my dad. One of the issues is that his health is not great but he does lie and exaggerate about how bad things are to get me to do things for him and feel sorry for him.
I try and keep my distance as much as possible for the sake of my sanity.
He has asked me to attend hospital appointments with him a couple of times before. I have said yes and then at the last minute he says they got cancelled. I suspect there was never an intention for me to go to these as he has form for cancelling on me last minute a lot, even as a young child.
He has asked me today to go to one in a couple of weeks time, on a weekday and I do work full time.
I find it very stressful seeing him and I suspect if I agree he will cancel last minute like before. I don’t know if he does this just to mess with my head?
Would it be unreasonable for me to say - sorry I can’t come with you as I can’t get time off work, I hope the appointment goes well.
I feel bad in case this is genuine. But I feel very muddled about the whole thing. If I say no he will start with the whole woe is me thing, even though he is someone who has never been there for me - including for serious health issues.
An alternative is to say I will go, assuming it won’t happen (so don’t actually take the day off work) and just humour him. Although I don’t really like the idea of this as then he will be encouraged to keep doing it.
Has anyone dealt with someone like this before? This is not the only issue but his behaviour is so confusing and makes no sense. What is he getting out of making me feel sorry for him and for messing me around like this? I am supposed to be his daughter.