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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stale marriage

6 replies

princessfifi23 · 06/11/2024 15:21

Dh and I have been married 5 years, together 8. So not an especially long long marriage. I have a dc from previous relationship and we have a toddler together.

He's a good husband on the face of it. Helps out with both dc, cooks, cleans, provides financially. But there is no spark or passion in our marriage anymore. He doesn't have a high sex drive (never really has) and we dtd about once a month. He is ok with this. I'd like it more but because he's basically admitted to not having a high sex drive there's not a lot I can do. I just have to accept it.

We have no help with childcare and very rarely get an opportunity to do something just the two of us. I'm talking maybe about 3/4 times in 2 years and always during the day.

He's fine with me going out and seeing friends but doesn't have much enthusiasm about him to want to do it himself. He's happy sat at home. It's just so dull. I feel largely invisible to him. Yeah he's tactile in the sense that he'll give me a hug and a peck but there is literally no fire in him anymore. Silly things like texting me throughout the day when we're at work - I hear nothing now.

I feel very meh about everything but I know to a certain extent this is just life. Even so it would be good to get some tips on how to get the spark back...if we can :(

OP posts:
flipdiddle81 · 06/11/2024 15:22

always like this or recent development?

Swanbeauty · 06/11/2024 15:27

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

BabyR · 06/11/2024 15:29

Could you start by having date nights at home? Cook something a little nicer and enjoy each others company once the kids are in bed. Book days off work together if the kids are at nursery and school. Any friends willing to babysit and you return the favour?

princessfifi23 · 06/11/2024 17:48

Nobody really to babysit, all my friends have kids and busy jobs. We are all just exhausted. I feel like we have gotten in such a rut that suggesting date nights at home just feels forced. But we do need to do something, it's all just very drab right now.

OP posts:
Swanbeauty · 06/11/2024 17:59

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

parietal · 06/11/2024 18:59

Date night at home might feel forced but if it works, then it works.

Also the toddler years are the worst for exhaustion and lack of time. It will get better.

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