Another WFH rant

[SqueegieNC]

DW and her friend are both in the study, having a very loud, very animated conversation.

I am WFH, also in the study.

I've got this spreadsheet which is really giving me the arse, and I can't help thinking I would have got it working by now if the animated conversation was happening in another part of the house, or indeed in another part of town.

If I unplug my laptop and take it to another room while the friend is still here, I will be perceived as antisocial.

Noise cancelling headphones can only cancel a certain amount of noise.

Bloody spreadsheet.

Thank you for listening.

Why are they in the study if you're working in there? Are they also supposed to be working? If not, use your words and ask them to relocate their conversation so you can concentrate.

Your study must be enviably large.

Why are they in the study?

You know your going get messages saying it's a home not a place of work! Why are you trying to share the same space - tell them to go elsewhere, like her bedroom.

Ask them to leave the study as you are trying to work

How hard is it to say

"I'm sorry darling, I really need to concentrate, would you and Sally mind chatting in the kitchen / living room? Thank you I really appreciate it"

Why are they in the same room as you?

I WFH 2 days a week, and until recently full time. I worked in the guest bedroom, and if the door was shut both DP and DD knew not to disturb me unless the house was on fire. It took a bit longer for the cat to get the message but even she did eventually, and she's notoriously thick.

Either you're not setting your boundaries properly, or your wife is ignoring them. Given that you're afraid to even leave the room for fear of being antisocial, I'm guessing this is a you issue.

I'd be asking them to get out of the study!

What's the problem with leaving and being antisocial, you're working - not socialising.

I don’t get why this is an issue. If you’re sitting with your headphones on working on a laptop then you’re not being social, how is moving away less social? Or why are you not asking them to go to another room so you can concentrate?

Why are they in there with you?

Well, did you personally invite this friend to visit? If yes, you shouldn't have during your working hours. It is work from home, after all, not socialise from home. If no, then who cares if you are being anti-social. You are working and she is not your guest.

I am 100% of the opinion tha thomes are homes and that the person WFH needs to accept taht. BUT... I don't understand why you are all int he same room. If I'm WFH downstairs and everyone comes home and is making a noise, I go upstairs. Because... I have to work.

If it's considered "anti social" to actually work while you are supposed to be working, you have a much bigger problem.

Being perceived as antisocial when you are working is exactly what you're going for.
Is there something else going? From what you've posted it seems you either need to tell them to be social elsewhere or you need to feel free to move elsewhere without comment. Is there a problem doing either of those?

DH works from the study. We have also started using it for the evenings in the winter as it is much easier to keep it at a reasonable temperature than our larger sitting room. It has a sofa bed in it and it's possible for DH to stay on his normal chair, and DS and I to share the sofa, just leaving enough room on the floor for the dog. However, we never use the study during the day - we don't consider going in until 5.30 / 6 (his work finishes theoretically at 5) and even then are tentative, making sure he's not still on a work call.

If you're WFH, particularly if you're in a separate room, you should reasonably expect to be left alone to get on with working, and not be joined by others. Joining them eg for lunch or a quick talk whilst you make a cup of tea is different - but that should be you joining them not the other way around.

Your work is paying you to be antisocial. Move.

Why is she socialising with her friend in the study?

You are working so it’s perfectly reasonable to ask them to give you some peace and quiet to figure out the spreadsheet.

Nah, this is on you for not saying, "I'm working. Go somewhere else."

Why on earth are they in the study? I'm assuming you have other rooms in the house that would be more suitable for socialising.
I do try to avoid having people around if DH is working from home (and vice versa), but sometimes the kids do and know to stay out the study. Even my 9 year old knows that if the door is shut she only bothers me in an emergency (and has got reasonably good at determining what that is).

You're being paid to work, not socialise. I worked from home for around 15 years. It will only work if you have dedicated space and others around you treat you as if you were in the business premises. In other words, you've got time to socialise at lunchtime and after work.

Is it a shared workspace? We have a shared home office with two proper desks, if I had a colleague over to work through something I'd expect DH to take himself off to another room.

Just read your other threads. You wife sounds very immature and disrespectful.
What are things like outside of work? Do you love each other?

It sounds nice to share a workspace with your SO in theory but practice its something else. No way would I want to listen to their calls or have them listen to mine. A colleague of mine has it and every so often I'll see him come out of the blurred background or I'll be talking and she'll turn around and be like "did you hear this?" When I thought we were alone. He doesn't work for the company but it's embarrassing.

I think you'd politely be able to say I'm just going into the living room so I can concentrate but if they're that busy gassing, would they even notice you left?

You shouldn't be working in the same room as they are socialising in. It's not fair on you or your employer/ customers. They shouldn't even be in there if it's your usual workspace. If you are just WFH as a one off then go in a different room.

You should say something. They shouldn't be in the study. Failing that you'll have to start going into the office