am I being unreasonable about partners gf posting kids?

[kisssfromarose]

My partner and I share 2 small kids from 20 year relationship. We are amicable and co parent well. I've said nothing so far to him about this but I'm really pissed at his gf posting pics of the kids all over her social media.
I don't put up pics of the kids... Ive been biting my tongue on saying to him or her I'm not comfortable with this. Shes actually making the posts seem as if they are just him and her kids. I would perhaps understand if it was their dad's birthday or fathers day, but she posts them every few days. I'm not comfortable with it. No one, either her or him thought to say "would it be ok" etc... I think as a woman and mother she wouldn't like it if someone else was posting pictures of her child. I personally wouldn't do that to another woman unless I had her say so.
Is it unreasonable for me to feel this way? I've deliberately said nothing incase I'm being unreasonable but it's really annoyed me. I don't feel she has the right or audacity to do that esp when she knows herself I don't post the kids online ! They are only 5 & 6!

No I give her complete credit, she's very good to them both, they both like her, I respect her for including them and I fully trust her!
She may have had part to play in my family falling apart but I cannot fault her in regards to how my children are treated. They are happy and feel loved. It took them a while to come round that dad isn't with us in the family home anymore and it was upsetting for them, they still do get tearful about it... But at least they feel included and wanted rather than hubby got a new gf and abandoned his children.

The whole thing is very bittersweet because I am hurt abd angry but at the sane time thankful and greatful that the situation has not affected them like many other kids in the same position. There's no parental alienation going on etc even though I have found it extremely difficult passing the kids off to play happy families elsewhere. It's so hard doing the right thing when all you want to do is scream and shout and say how unfair it all feels.

Me and her don't have any communication of any sorts. I don't feel comfortable telling ex hubby I know there's posts, I'd prefer he or she didn't know that it's upsetting me. I've a feeling she'd enjoy knowing that. I don't want to cause any arguments but it has got to a point that I do find it as a woman and as a mother really disrespectful. I'm sure if he walks out and finds someone else she'd have an issue if karma came knocking and she found herself in the same position as me.I personally just think you could have the manners to check with the mum that birthed them rather than go by his say so. It's just the respectful thing to do in my eyes. I understand not everyone thinks the same way as me but I really thought considering she's a mum you'd ask yourself "would I like this if roles were reversed"

I'm going to have a think on it all and try to decide if I just keep my mouth shut or if I express my concerns... If legally he's allowed to do that then is there Any real point me saying anything at all??

I think the reason I made the post was more to hear from other ppls opinions about a matter like this, if other mums have been in the same situation and felt like me

As a step mum who has been in my SS life for over 10 years now I really feel for you and I just wanted to say how lucky your kids are to have you. It’s clear that you are incredible for being able to rise above all of this like you have and go out of your way to ensure your children are not dumped in the middle of it and make sure they are are supported and put first. 💐 This must be so hard for you and my heart goes out to you.

I think the OW should be more respectful, but saying anything won’t change it if your ex isn’t on board and prepared to sort it out sadly, and that is on him, because he should be!

Me and my almost 4 year old sons dad split up a while ago and we both have new partners. His new girlfriend hasn’t posted any pictures of my son yet as I think she’s only met him a couple of times, but down the line if she wanted to post pictures I’d have to be okay with it, my son seems to like her, and she’s not overstepped any lines yet. My only hard request would be that her profiles would be made private if she wanted to post pictures with him in, as her Instagram is currently open. Me and his dad post pictures of him online but we both have our profiles fully locked down, so I’d probably just want a conversation about hers being the same. I’d also be upset if she was calling him her son or yano overstepping boundries, but just photos of her, him and his dad wouldn’t upset me as such.

My new partner has a 3.5 year old little girl, she comes to stay with us every weekend so I have a lot more contact but I personally haven’t posted photos of her online as I wouldn’t want to upset her mum, even if my profiles locked down, but there is photos on the wall in our house of her and us.

She is completely in the wrong. Exposing your children to the risks of social media is a decision that you and your ex should make, as their parents. Not the GF.

Presumably she’s asked her partner - their dad - and he’s said ok.

He has as much authority as you do, OP. They’re only half your kids and it’s not for you alone to decide.

Likewise it’s not just for him to decide but if you’ve not voiced any concerns then he’s probably assumed you’re ok with it. Did you not discuss this sort of thing when you first had the kids?

Ideally he’d have run it past you but presumably he didn’t think you’d have a problem with it, maybe because you’ve never said so.